A Short List Of Things I Would Have Told You If You Wouldve Just Asked

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A Short List Of Things I Would Have Told You If You Would’ve Just Asked

1. My last name. I only learned yours because I saw your work I.D. and key card inside your truck when you were dropping me off home one morning. My full name need not matter when I was just a place with a view you could visit to get off.

2. That night I bit into your shoulder, you pulled out a t-shirt from your dresser for me, got into bed, wrapped your arms around my waist and pulled me in close to you. If you had asked if I wanted to stay, I would have told you no. I would have told you I’d like to get home. If you had asked me if I was comfortable, I would have told you I didn’t feel like being held. The truth is, I was too drunk to go anywhere, too exhausted and indifferent to move, too sad for it to matter. So, I let you hold me all through the night, and each time I woke up with your limbs blanketing mine, I played make believe you were him.

3. When you found out I was a writer and that I wrote poetry you said, “So you’re like Shakespeare writing sonnets and shit.” If you would have asked me what and why I write, I would have told you I’d never written a sonnet in my life. That I wrote about the darkest parts of life, about the ugly side of love, that I wrote about everything that hurt, but not enough to kill me. I would have told you that I wrote instead of leaving behind a suicide note. I would have told you writing is the only way I cope. That I’m better at it than I am at speaking. I would have told you I wrote things you couldn’t understand. It wouldn’t have mattered, because in that moment I would have ceased to be a warm body for your wants, you never would’ve been turned on if you had to see the person. You may have never heard me, anyway.

4. You ordered me some awfully sweet mixed shot that night at Bovine & Barley that made me want to vomit. If you had asked me what I liked, I would have told you I was more of a tequila kind of girl. It didn’t matter when I was going to end up in your bed, loosened up and liquored up, anyway.

5. I told you I was having a bad day when you were trying to get me to come over once. Typically and boringly predictable, you said you knew what would make me feel better. As if your hard dick would be what would magically cure me of my depression, the answer to all of my worries, better than the fucking Klonopin I was already taking. In typical fashion, I came over, anyway. I was feeling empty, might as well let something crawl inside my body. Might as well take you out for a ride, see if it awakened any kind of feeling. I was always dirtiest and most fun when I was feeling numb. I walked in, you didn’t ask me what was wrong, didn’t as if I was okay, didn’t ask what was on my mind. I was so lonely, so broken down, I would have told you that in that moment you looked sharp enough to be a substitute for a single-edge razor blade. I would have been honest. I would have told you I wasn’t fine, that I wouldn’t mind just a little company. But all you said when I walked in was, “You’re so fucking hot.” And just like that, I was on my knees. And just like that, moments later, splayed out on your table. I lied when it was over and you asked me if I felt better. If you would have seen the tears behind my eyes threatening to make their way into the world, if you would have asked me if I was sure, I would have asked you to hold me just for a little while.

6. After all those months, if you would have asked me to dinner, I would have said yes.

7. Some Spanish slipped out once when I meant to tell you to go harder in English. You didn’t know where that came from. You have no idea I was a fluent speaker. If you had asked me, I would have told you all about how it was my first language. I would have told you how I grew up being sent to Mexico every summer. How it was important to my parents that I never lose my heritage. Even after that slip, you never asked. All you told me was you wanted to hear more Spanish when you were fucking me.

8. During Hurricane Harvey you texted me saying I should walk to your place so we could keep each other company. I know what you actually wanted. You didn’t ask if I was okay, if there had been any water in our apartment. You also knew I was born and raised in Houston, didn’t bother asking about my family’s home. If you had, I would have told you I wasn’t even in town, that I was in Austin, I would have told you to stay safe and thanked you for checking.

9. I woke up to 3 a.m. text a few months after things ended, or fizzled, or whatever the correct term is for something that was never really a thing, telling me to come outside because you were outside the gate to my place. If you had asked me how I’d been even once during that time, you would have known I didn’t live there anymore.

10. A few weeks ago, you texted me to tell me hey, tell me all about your promotion at work, how you have been up north working on a project for a few months, telling me you want to see me when you’re back in the city, telling me you’ll be back in February or March. I told you I was happy things were going well for you. I told you to take care. I left it at that. You didn’t ask what I have been up to, what I was doing. If you had, I would have told you I wasn’t filling up empty nights with men that can only see me as a vessel for their pleasure anymore. When you texted again, I didn’t reply. The truth is, when it comes to us, there’s never really been anything to say. And I could bet anything you still don’t know the last name of the girl you fucked for most of 2017.

Image Credit: Drew Wilson

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Natalia Vela

poet and bruja. still checking books out from your local library.

Read more: https://thoughtcatalog.com/natalia-vela/2019/01/a-short-list-of-things-i-would-have-told-you-if-you-wouldve-just-asked

Dad books flights to spend Christmas with flight attendant daughter

(CNN)Christmas is a time of the year when you’re supposed to spend quality time with your family. But what to do if your daughter is working for an airline over the holidays?

A fellow passenger on one of those flights, Mike Levy, shared Vaughan’s story on Facebook, calling him a “fantastic father.”
“The flight was from Fort Myers (Florida) to Detroit,” Levy told CNN. “While chatting with Hal, I mentioned I was heading back home. He then told me about his daughter working as our flight attendant and how he was along for the ride to spend Christmas with her.
    “I was amazed and thought he was such a phenomenal father for going well out of his way to be with his daughter.”
    He added, “Pierce is very sweet. She definitely knows now how great her dad really is.”
    Levy said Hal Vaughan booked six flights over the holidays.
    Pierce Vaughan later shared Levy’s viral post: “Dad’s first trip using his benefits was a success! A special thanks to all of the patient, wonderful gate agents around the country and my perfect crew. He made it on every flight and even got first class RSW-DTW (Christmas miracle).”
    Levy said the father struggled a bit through airports due to an accident that happened this year.
    “He is still recovering from a neck injury from earlier in the year, which had left him quadriplegic for a period,” Levy said. “This was his first trip since the accident.”
    CNN has reached out to both Hal and Pierce Vaughan.
      Delta responded to this story of a dad’s devotion to his daughter at Christmastime.
      “We appreciate all of our employees for working during the holidays to serve Delta customers, and love seeing this awesome Dad having the chance to spend Christmas with his daughter — even while crisscrossing the country at 30,000 feet,” it said.

      Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/27/us/dad-flight-attendant-daughter-christmas-trnd/index.html

      All The Laws You Should Know About That Go Into Effect In 2019

      2019 will see the enactment of a slew of new laws across the country (in California alone, more than 1,000 will be added to the books). In some states, minimum wages will go up, guns will be harder to obtain, plastic straws will get the boot and hunters will get to wear pink for a change.

      Here are some of the noteworthy laws going into effect this year:

      Tighter gun restrictions in several states

      Following the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, last February, thousands of protesters across the nation demanded stricter gun control measures.

      In the wake of the shooting massacre at a Parkland, Florida, high school last year, California passed several measures to prevent domestic abusers and people with mental illness from obtaining guns. Californians who are involuntarily committed to a mental institution twice in a year, or who are convicted of certain domestic violence offenses, could face a lifetime gun ownership ban.

      Under an expanded Oregon law that went into effect on Jan. 1, domestic abuse offenders or people under restraining orders are banned from owning or purchasing a gun. In Illinois, authorities now have the right to seize firearms from people determined to be a danger to themselves or others. A similar “red flag” law will go into effect in New Jersey later this year.  

      At least six states — California, Washington, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois and Vermont — and the District of Columbia are raising the minimum age from 18 to 21 for the purchase of long guns this year, CNBC reported.

      Washington state will also be enforcing several other gun control measures, including enhanced background checks, secure gun storage laws and a requirement for gun purchasers to provide proof they’ve undergone firearm safety training.

      New ‘Me Too’ laws

      In 2018, the Me Too movement spurred many people to come forward with their stories of sexual harassment and abuse — and prompted several states to pass new laws targeting sexual violence.

      Several states are taking aim at workplace sexual harassment. California has banned nondisclosure provisions in settlements involving claims of sexual assault, harassment or discrimination based on sex. California employers will also no longer be allowed to compel workers to sign nondisparagement agreements as a condition of employment or in exchange for a raise or bonus.

      By the end of 2019, publicly held corporations in the Golden State will also need to have at least one woman on their board of directors. Depending on the size of the board, corporations will need to increase that number to at least two or three female board members by the end of 2021.

      In New York, all employees will be required to complete annual sexual harassment prevention training. Larger businesses in Delaware will have to provide such training to their workers, and legislators and their staff in Virginia will need to undergo such training every year.

      Minimum wages get a boost 

      Though the federal minimum wage has languished at $7.25 since 2009, at least 19 states, including Arizona, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, New York and Washington, will be raising their minimum wages this year. Each will boost its minimum wage to at least $12. Some cities like New York, Seattle and Palo Alto, California, will see their wage floors increase to $15.

      So long straws and stirrers!

      Under a new California law, restaurant customers will have to explicitly ask for a plastic straw if they want to use one.

      As public awareness mounts of the hazards of plastic waste pollution, cities and states around the country have been targeting a major source of the problem: single-use plastic products like straws and food containers.

      A new law in New York City bars restaurants, stores and manufacturers from using most foam products, including takeout containers, cups and packing peanuts.

      Eateries in the District of Columbia are now prohibited from giving out single-use plastic straws and stirrers. In California, restaurant patrons will need to ask explicitly for a plastic straw if they want to use one. Restaurants can be fined $25 a day for serving beverages with plastic straws that aren’t requested by customers.

      Former felons in Florida can head to the voting booth

      In November, Florida voted to approve a ballot measure that enabled more than 1 million former felons to regain their voting rights.

      On Jan. 8, Florida will restore the voting rights of all former felons except those convicted of murder or a felony sexual offense. Some 1.4 million possible voters will be added to the rolls — an addition that could have a significant effect on elections in the swing state.

      Utah implements strictest DUI law in the country

      Utah has lowered its blood alcohol content standard for drunk driving to 0.05 percent — the lowest limit in the country.

      Under the new law, a driver who exceeds that limit and causes the death of another person will be charged with criminal homicide, a felony offense.

      As CNN notes, all other U.S. states have a blood alcohol concentration limit of 0.08 percent for noncommercial drivers. Since at least 2013, the National Transportation Safety Board has been pushing to lower the limit to 0.05 nationwide. 

      Pets to get more rights in California

      Pets in California will no longer be treated by courts as physical property in divorce cases. Instead, judges can decide who gets custody of the family pet.

      Under a separate California law, pet stores will no longer be allowed to sell cats, dogs or rabbits that aren’t from animal shelters or nonprofit rescue groups. That law, which took effect on Jan. 1, also requires that store owners maintain proper documentation of the backgrounds of the dogs, cats and rabbits they sell.

      Hawaii legalizes physician-assisted suicide

      Hawaii’s new law allowing physician-assisted suicide took effect on Tuesday.

      Tobacco targeted in several states

      Some states and cities are taking aim at tobacco products this year.

      Smoking will be banned at all New Jersey public beaches and parks starting in July.

      In New York City, a new ordinance bans pharmacies from selling cigarettes and other tobacco products. And Massachusetts has raised the minimum age to buy tobacco products from 18 to 21.

      Nonbinary people can list their gender as ‘X’ in NYC

      People who identify as neither male nor female can now list their gender as “X” on birth certificates in New York City.

      New Jersey requires all residents to have health insurance

      A health insurance law in New Jersey that came into effect on Jan. 1 requires residents to maintain coverage or pay a penalty. It’s the second state in the country, after Massachusetts, to enact an individual health insurance mandate.

      Vermont is paying remote workers to move there

      In an effort to promote economic growth, Vermont has offered to pay some remote workers to relocate to the state.

      Qualified applicants can each apply for up to $10,000 in funding. The state has earmarked $500,000 for the initiative, The Associated Press reported.

      Hunters in Illinois can wear pink if they want to

      Not into the usual “blaze orange”? Hunters in Illinois can now wear equally eye-catching “blaze pink” under a new law.

      Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner (R) said the new shade could be even more effective in helping hunters stand out.

      “[In the fall] we’re hunting in trees and in some fields, there are orange leaves. There is orange in the background, so it’s not always easy to see orange,” Rauner said, according to the Illinois News Network. “So we’re adding blaze pink to be one of the colors.”

      Ohio kids will soon be required to learn cursive

      In an age of text messaging and email, Ohio is attempting to keep the handwriting tradition of cursive alive. A new state law will require students to be able to write in cursive by the end of fifth grade. 

      Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-laws-2019-us_us_5c2c195fe4b0407e9085d41f

      A teacher shared a simple gift a student gave her, and it’s seriously the sweetest thing.

      A child gave a teacher a simple gift that’s bringing people to tears.

      It’s not what you give, but the thought and sacrifice behind what you give that counts. And this gift a teacher received is so thoughtful and sacrificial it hurts.

      Facebook user and elementary school teacher Rachel Uretsky-Pratt shared a photo of a gift one her students gave her—a simple bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows—along with a description of how it was given to her:

      To help put your life into perspective:

      Today was the last day before our winter break. We will have two weeks off to…

      Posted by Rachel Uretsky-Pratt on Wednesday, December 19, 2018

      “To help put your life into perspective: Today was the last day before our winter break. We will have two weeks off to rest with our families and loved ones over the holidays then head back to school in 2019.With it being the day before break and Christmas right around the corner, most teachers bring their kiddos something such as books or little treats and occasionally in return receive something from their students.Today I received some chocolates, sweet handmade notes, some jewelry, but these Lucky Charm marshmallows stood out to me the most.You see, 100% of my school is on free/reduced lunch. They also get free breakfast at school every day of the school week. This kiddo wanted to get my something so badly, but had nothing to give.So rather than give me nothing, this student opened up her free breakfast cereal this morning, took the packaging of her spork, straw, and napkin, and finally took the time to take every marshmallow out of her cereal to put in a bag—for me. Be grateful for what you have, and what others give you. It all truly comes from the deepest parts of their hearts. Happy Holidays. 💕

      How unbelievably sweet. I can just picture this student sitting carefully pulling the marshmallows from her cereal—obviously the best part—and carefully wrapping them up for her beloved teacher.

      Oof, my heart.

      It doesn’t matter how much a present costs. This student doesn’t have much, yet she was willing to give up one of the pleasures she does have in order to express her gratitude and bring a smile to her teacher’s face.

      Research has shown that those who are poor tend to be more generous with their giving than those who are wealthy.

      One might assume that a person who has very little would be inclined to hold onto it, while those who have plenty would be more willing to let things go. But that’s often not the case. Berkeley psychology researcher Paul Piff conducted a published study that found that people of lower socioeconomic means were more willing to give what they had, while the richer tended to be more miserly.

      And not all giving is equally sacrificial. When you consider how much greater a burden $5 or $10 is to someone struggling to put food on the table compared to someone with a five-figure savings account, a small gift from someone of lesser means is actually a lot more generous than it would be from their wealthier counterparts.

      And when you have no money with which to buy a gift and have to get creative with what you have? That’s when a present means the most. The spirit of giving is alive and well in this thoughtful student, and whoever is raising her deserve some praise.

      Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/a-teacher-shared-a-simple-gift-a-student-gave-her-and-it-s-seriously-the-sweetest-thing