Ever wonder “How to get my book reviewed”?

Books
Books/Image Source: Vbctulsa

So you’ve published your book. Its been edited and published, and now you’re trying to figure out how to get to your potential readers. While starting your marketing campaign usually happens well before your book is completed, getting your first reviews can’t begin until your book is done or in a final draft status.

Many stores won’t carry a small press or self-published book that doesn’t have reviews from a recognizable publishing. So how do you get someone to pay attention to your book among all of the hundreds, if not thousands, of submissions they see every month?

City Book Review, publishers of the San Francisco Book Review, Manhattan Book Review and Kids’ BookBuzz all have programs to help you. Kids BookBuzz is only for kids, tweens and young adult books, but the other two will take almost any book you have (including children’s stories).

So how do you get your book reviewed by the San Francisco Book Review?

If your book is within 90 days of the publications date, you can submit it for general review (at no cost). The closer you are to the 90 days, the less of a chance it will have to be reviewed, but you can still start there. The SFBR gets more than 1000 submissions a month, and only reviews 300 or less, so your opportunities of getting your book reviewed in this way is less than 33%. But you can give it a try and see if it gets reviewed.

General Submission Guidelineshttp://www.sanfranciscobookreview.com/submission-guidelines/general-submission/

If your book is more than 90 days past its publication date, or you really want to have it reviewed and don’t want to just hope it’ll get picked up through the general review, you can go through the Sponsored Review program. While there is some controversy about paying for a review, SFBR is a respected publication like Kirkus or Foreward Reviews and doesn’t offer vanity reviews for payment. You can expect the same level of professionalism from their standard reviews. And they don’t mark sponsored reviews any different than the other reviews.

Get My Book Reviewed from the San Francisco Book Reviewhttp://sanfranciscobookreview.com/submission-guidelines/sponsored-review/

Get My Book Reviewed from the San Francisco Book Review

There are a lot of different options for getting your book reviewed, mostly around how long it takes to get your review back, and if you want more than one or an interview as well.

  • Standard Reviews Take 8-10 weeks for turnaround from the time they receive your book Start at
  • Expedited Reviews Take 3-5 weeks for turnaround from the time they receive your book Start at
  • Get more than one review for the same book you’ll get a discount on the normal cost of 2 or 3 reviews. Reviews range in price from $150 to $299.
  • Getting a podcast interview for Audible Authors to promote yourself and your book, and you can add an interview to a review package at a discount.

And if you really like your review, you can have it posted on the other publication’s website for $99, or get a new review from a different reviewer. Both can help with your marketing and search engine optimization.

So how do you get your book reviewed by the Manhattan Book Review?

The Manhattan Book Review uses the same format for the San Francisco Book Review. Different audience, so if you’re an East Coast writer, you might be more interested in having the credit from MBR over SFBR. Personal taste is the only difference between the two for reviews. If you are a local SF or Manhattan writer, they will also flag that in your review.

General Review Submission Guidelines for the Manhattan Book Reviewhttp://manhattanbookreview.com/get-my-book-reviewed/general-submission/

Sponsored Review Submission Guidelines for the Manhattan Book Reviewhttp://manhattanbookreview.com/get-my-book-reviewed/sponsored-reviews/

So how do you get your book reviewed by Kids’ BookBuzz?

First thing, all of the reviews for Kids’ BookBuzz are done by kids. They are assigned age appropriate books, but the kids read them and write the reviews themselves. The younger kids have some help from their parents, but the words are all theirs. Don’t expect any easy reviews either. These kids see a lot of stories, so they know good books when they read them.

General Submission Guidelines for Kids’ BookBuzzhttp://kidsbookbuzz.com/get-my-book-reviewed-by-a-kid/general-submission/

Sponsored Review Submission Guidelines for Kids’ BookBuzz http://kidsbookbuzz.com/get-my-book-reviewed-by-a-kid/sponsored-reviews/

5 Insane Small-Town News Stories You Need To Know About

Most small town news headlines are like “Someone Won The Church Raffle,” or “Dog Noticed.” That’s part of the appeal of small-town living — it’s calm and uneventful. But every now and then, a story that affects the whole world starts unfolding right in the peaceful heart of Nowhere In Particular. Like how …

5

Montana Is Turning Into A Nazi Stronghold

Montana is one of the whitest states in the Union, and Flathead is Montana’s most vanilla county, with only 4.8 percent of its population being nonwhite. So while many Americans forgot that Montana existed until Far Cry 5 came out, neo-Nazis have known for quite some time. Those demographics (plus lax gun laws and the ability to live off the grid) encouraged American Nazis to move there, most figuring that the work of creating a whites-only enclave had already been mostly done for them. The official Nazification began small, with acts like sticking propaganda into the pages of children’s books or between nice pairs of jeans in stores, but eventually they escalated to screening Holocaust denial films. So Montana isn’t merely the whitest state in the Union anymore; it’s also the one with the greatest concentration of hate groups.

Noted jackass Richard Spencer moved to the town of Whitefish, hoping to make it the center of a white supremacist, anti-Semitic media empire.

Royalbroil/Wikimedia CommonsYes, Whitefish. The perfect scenic setting to get away, reconnect with nature, and amass a paramilitary militia in the service of Adolf Hitler.

Unsurprisingly, the town’s Jewish community wasn’t thrilled with the plan and tried to kick him out. That, in turn, led to neo-Nazis harassing and threatening local Jewish citizens and planning (although ultimately failing to hold) an armed rally, with the state’s non-awful citizens mounting a counter-protest. The head of Nazi website The Daily Stormer claimed this was all a Jewish conspiracy to make Nazis look bad, just because they said things like “We’re going to come cremate you.” Yes, because the only way to make Nazis look bad is via massive conspiracy.

Montana’s courts are currently trying to figure out where to draw the line between free speech and open threats, and the whole affair is an important reminder that the neo-Nazis you see online aren’t abstract. They have to live somewhere, and right now, they’re all about big sky country.

4

New Yorkers Who Sent Their Kids To Private School Took Over A Public School Board Solely To Gut It

Even if you don’t have kids, or don’t send your kids to a public school, you are still required to pay taxes to help fund public schools so that we don’t raise a generation of doctors who think that cancer is caused by the vengeful spirits of our ancestors. This is generally accepted as the price we pay for having educated citizens … but not by a group of Orthodox Jews in East Ramapo, New York.

The overwhelming majority of Hasidic Jews in the district send their kids to private yeshivas, but some of them decided that they were sick of having to pay for two school systems. So Orthodox candidates began running for the public school board.


Yes, the public board, as in the board for the schools that none of their children attended.

They bussed in supporters to ensure they got the votes they needed, and once they took power, they gutted everything while filtering public funds to their private school system. To keep their personal taxes lower, the school board cut hundreds of teachers and other staff members, full-day kindergarten, music, athletics, and extracurriculars. It was a minor miracle that the schools were allowed to acknowledge the continued existence of math, much less attempt to teach it.

All this nonsense eventually led to protests and the state government appointing a powerful fiscal monitor to … monitor the fiscal situation. Anyway, remember this story the next time you’re tempted to skip your local school board election because “it’s always the same.”

3

A Tiny Town In Ohio Was Making Nearly A Million Dollars A Year Through Speeding Tickets

Linndale, Ohio, despite having fewer than 200 residents, used to pull in around $866,000 a year from speeding tickets alone — most given to out-of-towners who sped through their meager 440 yards of interstate. The money was used to pay for almost everything in town, from civic employee healthcare benefits to public garbage cans. Linndale was circling the drain in the modern economy, and while their solution was preferable to starting a cult or getting mad at immigrants, it was still a pretty big dick move.

Google MapsNot a bad haul for a city the size of a mall parking lot.

The Ohio State Legislature argued that Linndale’s speed traps were designed solely to generate profit without any concern for encouraging safety. The state eventually passed a law preventing Linndale from profiting from the practice, but Linndale countered by installing speed cameras, which make them even more money, because tickets produced by cameras fall under a different legal category. Though the law does state that ticket cameras have to be monitored, which means that this tiny town has seven police officers and 27 volunteers, essentially making it the world’s smallest, lamest police state.

2

A Washington Town Spent Years (And 10 Percent Of Its Budget) Trying To Keep A Dude From Living In A Shed

Springdale, Washington has a population of just 280 people. Unfortunately for them, one of those 280 people was Dawud Ahmad, an Islamic convert who proclaimed that his religious freedom allowed him to live in a shed with no plumbing. Ahmad’s little abode is owned by a nonprofit called Muslim America, which thought it was doing a homeless member a solid. Springdale argued that the building was unfit for human occupation, and that Ahmad was violating their right to enforce their building codes. Beginning in 2009, the dispute erupted into a sprawling, years-long legal battle.

Springdale’s annual budget is around $150,000-$170,000, and they were spending 10 percent of that on legal fees each year. Ahmad won (or lost, depending on how you look at it) by dying in 2012 while still occupying the shed, but two of his pupils, as well as his wife, continued to occupy what she called “a cute little place.”

Up until 2014, the courts had been on Team “You Can’t Live In A Gosh Dang Shed,” ruling that Ahmad’s wife and Muslim America owned Springdale $23,000 in legal fees. But the shed supporters countered by arguing for a religious exemption to building and zoning codes. That plunged the case right back into a legal quagmire from which it has yet to emerge. Maybe they could solve the dilemma by instituting a merciless speed trap and using a fraction of the profits for proper housing?

1

An Idaho Town Became A Real-Life Infowars

Alex Jones’ Infowars constantly hawks ideas that would make a Flat Earther roll their eyes, like the time he interrogated an Amazon Echo to get Alexa to reveal her CIA handlers. It’s not exactly highbrow stuff.

We tend to think of reactions to Jones as binary: Either you’re crazy enough to believe him, or you’re not. But it’s really more like a sliding scale, as we can learn from Twin Falls, Idaho. In 2016, two boys from Sudan and Iraq, a seven-year-old and a ten-year-old, attempted some kind of sex act on a five-year-old white American girl. By law, the details are unclear; the police reports are sealed because everyone involved was a minor. But the media was able to piece together that the seven-year-old “touched the girl inappropriately,” while the ten-year-old used a phone borrowed from his 14-year-old brother to record it.

It was obviously a terrible situation, but as the case’s lead prosecutor pointed out, it’s not unheard of with children. Sometimes it’s all down to horribly misplaced curiosity, while other times the perpetrators have themselves been victims of sexual abuse. Whatever the cause, the boys pleaded guilty and were sentenced, and the situation was resolved as well as a situation like that can be.

Then thousands of shitty people, both local and not, did what thousands of shitty people will do: They started Facebook groups to advance an agenda. They quickly agreed upon a variety of nasty and far-fetched fabrications, including that the perpetrators were Syrian refugees, that a father had high-fived them in congratulations, that adult men had been involved, that the girl had been held at knifepoint, and that the municipal government and the police conspired to suppress the crime.

Infowars ran an article with the headline “REPORT: Syrian ‘Refugees’ Rape Little Girl at Knifepoint in Idaho.”

InfoWarsREPORT: INFOWARS FULL OF SHIT

Of course, neither of the boys were Syrian and there was no knife, but that was somehow the least of the article’s problems. Infowars claimed that an older brother had directed the younger boys to rape and then urinate on the girl, and that it was all part of a spate of crimes by Muslim refugees (refugees in scare quotes, naturally) that also included spitting in the faces of non-Muslims, as well as a rash of hit-and-runs.

InfowarsYet somehow, “Wealthy Media Figure Profits Off Abused Kindergartner” failed to get headline space.

Because of these baseless rumors, the town descended into anti-Muslim chaos. City council was harassed because they weren’t kicking all the immigrants out of town. The case’s judge was harassed and accused of corruption. The mayor was accused of being part of a globalist conspiracy to destroy America, and was also the victim of a widespread rumor that he was a convicted rapist. His wife received rape threats, and they both, in the worst possible form of marital bonding, received death threats. Local journalists tried to counter with actual reporting, but their reach was minuscule compared to Breitbart and Infowars.

Oh yeah, and fake Facebook accounts connected to the Russian government were later found to have helped spread this garbage. Do try to feign some surprise.

Jordan Breeding also writes for Paste Magazine, the Twitter, and himself, and he isn’t a huge fan of Nazis.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 5 Parts Of Small Town Life That We Swear To God Are Real and 6 Things I Did As A Cop In A Shockingly Corrupt Small Town.

Also, follow us on Facebook. You won’t regret it.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25530_5-insane-small-town-news-stories-you-need-to-know-about.html

Mel Brooks Talks Trump, Anti-Semitism, Political Correctness and the Best Movie He Ever Made

Before I can get a question out, Mel Brooks jumps in.

What would you like to know? he begins. I can tell you this. On April 26th, Ill be on stage at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood celebrating the 50thhard to believe!anniversary of this movie, The Producers, that Zero Mostel said no to.

Perhaps at 91 years old, Brooks just doesnt have to time to wait and see what you want to ask him. And he has plenty to say, especially as he prepares to be honored for his first feature film at the TCM Classic Film Festival this month, almost 50 years to the day after he won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay.

While Gene Wilder jumped at the opportunity to portray Leo Bloom, Brooks explains that Mostel initially had no interest in playing his counterpart Max Bialystock. He said, Two Jews putting on a Hitler thing? No, its stupid, its crazy, no, Im not going to do it, Brooks continues. And then, I think two years later he did Ionescos The Rhinoceros and I said, You didnt want to do this but youll run around on stage playing a rhinoceros for two hours?

Brooks says it was their mutual friend, the sculptor Speed Vogel, who helped him convince Mostel to take what would become one of his most iconic roles. Speed said, Look, Zeros crazy, but his wife [former Radio City Music Hall Rockette Kathryn Harkin] is not, he remembers. He said, Let me get the script to Katie, let her read it.

They got an early draft of the script, which at that time was called Springtime for Hitler, to Mostels wife. (Brooks reluctantly agreed to change the title to The Producers only after the studio head told him, Theyre not going to put Hitler on a marquee.) Mostels wife loved the script so much, she told her husband he would do the film or youve got yourself a divorce, Brooks says, laughing. She was that tough. She said, this is the best thing that has ever come across our letterbox and youve got to do it. So Zero did it.

After the movie came out, Mostel told Brooks, You know, it was surprisingly good. Not only did it land Mostel a Golden Globe nomination, but it also won Brooks his first and only Oscar and launched a career that has lasted more than 50 years and includes such legendary films as Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs.

Below is an edited and condensed version of our conversation once I was able to start asking questions.

So an audience is going to see The Producers on the big screen this month as part of the TCM Classic Film Festival

Thats why Im doing it. Because nobody who was born 20 years ago has ever seen a Mel Brooks movie on anything but a telephone. Or a TV set. The truth is, I made a lot of movies, but I dont think anybody in their 30s down has ever seen any of my movies on the silver screen in the dark with a couple of hundred people around them enjoying the community laugh. A lot of people laughing together is a great feeling. But, you know, two or three people in a living room and I hear the Chinese Theatre is a thousand people. Will you do it? Sure. Ill go anywhere, anytime if you show my movie on a big screen.

Do you think it will still have the same impact on audiences today as it did when it was first released 50 years ago?

Better. Itll be better because when it was first released there was still shades of the Holocaust and it wasnt in such good taste with the swastika and Hitler. But now, that has faded a little. So I think itll go well. You know, the idea of two Jews in New York producing Springtime for Hitler to make sure they have a failure so they can get more money with a flop than they could with a hit, I think theyll get that. And the genius and the tears in seeing Zero and Gene Wilder again on the screen. Especially the blue blanket scene with Gene Wilder, you know, Im hysterical and Im wet.

My favorite thing with the blue blanket is later in the movie, Zero and Gene are sitting there and Gene is reading. Hes talking about the investors. Mrs. Resnick 35 percent, Mrs. Biddle 60 percent. Hes going way past 100 percent. So Zero says, How much percentage can there be in the show? And Gene says, There can only be 100 percent. And Zero says, How many percent have we sold in Springtime for Hitler? He says, 18,000 percent. And then Zero says, Give me that blue thing and grabs the blue blanket and puts it across his face. Its a beautiful scene.

Its now been almost two years since you lost your friend Gene Wilder. What did he do as Leo Bloom in this movie that made you want to keep collaborating with him over the next several years?

He was exceptionally talented. Not as a comic so much, but as an actor. He played every moment with such feeling and reality. And he didnt talk fast. Actors know their lines. So one actors says their line, the other actor says his line right away. And Gene would say to me, no, you have to listen to what the other guy is saying. You have to respond, but you cant talk right on top of him. Gene knew that you have digest something and respond. And he took his time with everything. Except when he was hysterical and then he just went nuts. You know, its probably my best movie.

And it was your first movie.

It was my first movie and theres only a few scripts that I wrote totally without anybody else. Its very special. You know what it is? Its very much like your first born child. The first born child you have is definitely a miracle. And then it becomes a pain in the ass.

What did winning the Oscar for screenwriting for your first feature film mean to you at the time?

I was against probably one of my favorite pictures of all time, The Battle of Algiers. I thought, we dont have a chance here. I said to the people who were with me, the Academy knows thats a masterpiece. And Stanley Kubricks 2001, thats another giant masterpiece picture. So I said, Im not going to get a speech ready. So they called my name. Frank Sinatra called my name. I came on stage and I really didnt know what to say. I wanted to thank Zero and I thanked Gene Wilder three times in a row. And then I wanted to tell everyone what a big moment this is for me, I want to tell you whats in my heart. I took a beat and I went, Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. And then I said thanks and I left. I always had to be funny, no matter what. Im a stand-up comic and I had to score.

That reminds me of the moment with President Obama when you received the National Medal of Arts and it looked like you pretended to pull down his pants. Did that come to you in the moment?

It was heavy and I fell and he helped me up and thats why it looked like I was pulling on his pants. But you know, youve gotta get a laugh. Nothing is so sacred that you dont earn your laugh. Youre a stand-up comic first and then maybe Tolstoy later, but first a stand-up comic.

There have been many parallels drawn between The Producers and the Trump campaign in the sense that he was actually hoping to lose the presidency. Do you think that is an apt comparison?

[Laughs] I dont know if he was really trying to lose. Im not sure he wanted it, but I dont think he was actively trying to lose it because, you know, anything important you dont give up. I think what he really wanted was maybe to be president for a month or so, so he could be in the books and wear the crown and then say, Look, this is not really my job. Ive got a show to do. But he didnt know they dont let you quit. So it backfired and now its every minute. But who knows if the Democrats have anybody [who can beat him], because really its a big show and hes a big celebrity. And I think, America votes for a celebrity. I dont think they vote for somebody whos a great administrator.

Do you find Trump to be funny or not so much?

You know, I think he saved late-night television. Im very grateful to him for that. Between Conan and Jimmy Kimmel and Colbert, he saved these guys! Theyve built careers on his doings. We are grateful to him for his contribution to showbiz. Other things are not so terrific.

As someone who fought in World War II and has spent a lot of time thinking about Hitler and the Holocaust, do you worry about the recent rise of anti-Semitism in America?

Always. Im worried about it, I really am. Im seriously worried about it. Im worried about it all over the world. So far, Germany has been the best. But now Im afraid the right is rising in Germany. Im so happy that Angela Merkel won, because I was so afraid that things were going to go badly. And I was so glad that Macron beat Le Pen [in France]. I was really worried there because I thought, uh oh, here they come. Wed better build trenches and wear helmets.

People forget.

They do forget. When you say Holocaust, they say, Whats that? They dont even know about it.

Its not something you can forget about.

Right, well, I was there so…

So you said you think The Producers will get an even stronger reception because were further away from Hitler, but I know youve also spoken before about how you dont think you could get Blazing Saddles made today. How do you think political correctness is impacting the type of comedy that is being produced now?

Ive never been a fan of political correctness. Ive been a fan of decent behavior, which is different from political correctness. Because political correctness demands too much respect for being good. And comics are not good. We are bad. We whisper into the kings ear. We tell him the truth. And thats our job. Its our job to say it like it is. And sometimes use the words that we use in the street. You cant always play ball with the system, you have to strike out and tell the truth.

Do you think people are too concerned about hurting feelings these days to do that?

I think that people enjoy that people love the comics that break the rules, thats what I think. I think its only a sliver that really love political correctness. Everybody else likes the truth, which is different.

One last question for you: How do you maintain the energy to keep working at 91?

I dont know. Truthfully, I think its the gift of a good constitution. My mother lived into her 90s. But I would say personally, its Raisin Bran. The raisins are sweet and it has iron and they have energy. The bran helps keep you regular. So its either ancestral good bodies and good brains coming my way from the past, or, to be honest, it could be Raisin Bran.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/mel-brooks-ive-never-been-a-fan-of-political-correctness

London murder rate beats New York for month as stabbings surge

London became a bit more like New York City in February, but it’s not a distinction to be proud of.

The city of Big Ben and the tube overtook New York in murders for the first time in modern history as the British capital dealt with a surge in knife attacks.

The Sunday Times reported 15 people were murdered in London, against 14 in New York. Both cities are very diverse with large populations: London has over 8.7 million residents to New York’s 8.5 million.

In March, according to the British publication, there had been 22 killings in London versus 21 in New York.

A massive decline in crime has helped to transform New York City: In 1990, of 2,245 people were murdered. Last year, however, that number dropped nearly 90 percent to 290 murders.

London has seen its murder rate increase recently.  (Reuters)

The total number of murders in London has fluctuated over the years, but it’s risen by 38 percent since 2014.

EX-RUSSIAN SPY POISONING A ‘NEW ERA OF WARFARE,’ UK OFFICIAL SAYS 

The Sunday Times reports that FBI data and crime studies show that since 1800 London has typically had a murder rate per person of between half and a 20th of New York’s.

Including January, London still has fewer murders so far this year — 45 against 55 — and its total in 2017 was also lower. But the gap has narrowed in recent years.

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Cressida Dick said websites and mobile phone applications such as YouTube, Snapchat and Instagram were partially to blame for the bloodshed, the Evening Standard reports.

Deadly stabbings in England and Wales are now at their highest levels since 2011, rising by 12 percent in the year ending December 2017.

Christopher Carbone is a reporter for FoxNews.com. Follow him on Twitter @christocarbone.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/04/01/london-murder-rate-beats-new-york-for-month-as-stabbings-surge.html

Paid summer breaks and other common myths about teachers

(CNN)As teachers in several states across the United States protest for higher pay and more funding for public education, lawmakers and onlookers are debating whether teachers deserve more money.

Here are a few common myths about teachers and their pay.

MYTH: Teachers work less than other professionals

    According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average length of an American school day is just over 6.5 hours. But teachers work much longer than that.
    Kristen Emanuel, a 7th grade teacher in New York City, said she regularly works 11 hours a day. Nine of those are spent at school.
    More than 3.5 million full-time teachers in the United States are required to work 38.2 hours a week on average, according to the NCES. But when taking into account all other school-related activities teachers participate in — like after school conferences, staff meetings and extracurricular programs — they actually end up working 53.3 hours during a typical work week.
    For most other professions, a typical American work week in 2017 was 42.3 hours, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
    Emanuel stays at the school late to work on lesson plans and prepare for the next day, she said, knowing it will be harder to get work done at home with her three kids.
    When she finally leaves work, Emanuel makes her kids dinner and puts them to bed. “And the second they’re down, I start grading papers and doing lesson plans for the next day,” she said, adding she also spends 4 to 5 hours grading papers on the weekend.
    “I love my students, but it’s also emotionally exhausting, physically exhausting and mentally taxing,” Emanuel said.
    Leslie Busch, a special education teacher in Kentucky, agrees. “It’s not a 9 to 5 and leave-your-stuff-at-work kind of job,” she said. “You live it. You breathe it. It’s there with you all the time.”

    MYTH: Teachers have a paid summer vacation

    “That’s a misconception on many people’s minds,” Busch told CNN. In fact, teachers are only paid for the days they work. For Busch, that’s 187 days a year.
    Busch said many teachers, including herself, choose to have a portion of each of their paychecks withheld during the school year so they can continue to receive a paycheck through the summer. That means about 9 months’ worth of money is spread out over 12 months.
    Several teachers in different states told CNN they choose to have their pay prorated so they can have a steady stream of income over the summer, but they’re not getting paid to lounge by the pool, they said.
    “I get a paycheck,” Busch said. “I do not get extra pay.”

      Teacher’s photo leads to outpouring of support

    Emanuel also chooses to have her pay spread out. “It’s about budgeting,” she said, “and allocating pay.”
    “I do it myself because I just like to have that steady stream of income,” she told CNN, adding that some teachers choose not to have their pay withheld, and receive the money up front. But those teachers won’t get a paycheck over the summer.

    MYTH: Teachers are given all their supplies

    Many teachers have to pay for classroom supplies out of their own pockets, further adding to the financial burdens many educators are facing.
    A 2016 study by educational publisher Scholastic found teachers, on average, spent $530 of their personal money on supplies for their classrooms.
    They’re buying supplies for students like pencils, notebooks, tissues, books, lesson plans, technology and software, the study showed.
    Kerrie Dallman, the president of the Colorado Education Association (CEA), said each year she’d spend between $800 and $1,000 on average buying supplemental textbooks and classroom materials, but most CEA members pay about $650.
    Emanuel, the teacher in New York City, buys books, posterboard, tape, scissors, staplers, hand sanitizer, tissues and organizational materials, she said. “It really runs the gamut.”
    It’s gotten better in recent years, she said, with organizations like DonorsChoose.org helping teachers supply their classrooms. But she said still spends at least $1,000 each year.

    MYTH: All teachers receive an adequate wage

    Besides the teaching work they take home, many educators take on extra work or second jobs to supplement their incomes.
    In the 2015-2016 school year, 17.9% of public school teachers had a job outside of the school system, according to data from the NCES. Another 44.5% took on extracurricular activities within the school system that netted additional pay.
    Dallman said she worked all kinds of jobs to make extra money when she was in the classroom, teaching high school social studies.
    “In the past I’ve coached swimming, I’ve coached softball,” she said. “I have worked for UPS as a truck loader in the summer in 100-degree heat in a semi-truck at midnight.”
    The CEA collects information from its 35,000 members to see what additional jobs they take to supplement their salaries, and there are many examples of teachers driving for Lyft, working at Walmart or doing landscaping, Dallman said.
    Colorado teachers aren’t alone, either. Educators in Oklahoma told CNN about working 2, 3 or even up to 6 jobs to make ends meet.
    “I think it’s a real testament to an individual’s commitment to teaching when they could probably go find another job and earn more money,” Dallman said.
    “But,” she adds, “they stay in the classroom because of their passion for our students.”

    Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/15/us/teacher-pay-myth-misconception/index.html

    Brutal Chimpanzee War Was Likely Driven By Power, Ambition, And Jealousy

    When a new leader was crowned, it was hoped that the community would settle down and peace would prevail. But two younger pretenders had other ideas, their lofty ambitions meaning they wanted to seize power for themselves. The resulting fracture in the group led to years of brutal warfare, during which raids were conducted, ambushes set, and no one was above murder.

    The conflict became known as the Four-Year War of Gombe, and is the only known fully documented chimpanzee civil war. Now a new study has re-examined the episodes that led up to the war, to try to figure out what sparked it.

    The events were recorded by Jane Goodall after a decade of watching the community of chimps at Gombe National Park, at a time when chimpanzees were still thought to be peaceful, forest-living apes. Between the years of 1974 and 1978, she observed the extreme violence that can pervade as the one community seemingly split and the apes waged a savage war. What she witnessed truly disturbed her.

    Goodall showed that the chimps at Gombe were far more violent than thought. Ikiwaner/Wikimedia Commons

    “Often when I woke in the night, horrific pictures sprang unbidden to my mind – Satan [one of the apes], cupping his hand below Sniff’s chin to drink the blood that welled from a great wound on his face… Jomeo tearing a strip of skin from Dé’s thigh; Figan, charging and hitting, again and again, the stricken, quivering body of Goliath, one of his childhood heroes,” Goodall wrote in her memoir of her time at Gombe.

    But the cause of the war has always been up for debate. Was it a natural event that was occurring independently of Goodall, who was simply observing the apes, or was it sparked by the feeding station that she had set up in the forest, bringing an unnatural group of chimps together?

    After digitalizing all of Goodall’s original field notes from her time at Gombe and then sifting through them, researchers built up an impressively detailed picture of the social interactions and friendships between the chimps at the time, and mapped how these changed. They published their results in the American Journal of Physical Anthropology.

    They found that the seeds for the conflict were already there in the years leading up to the war. While at the end of the 1960s, all males were intermingling quite happily, by 1971, fractures were beginning to show. The northern and southern males were starting to spend less time with each other, and encounters became increasingly aggressive.  

    Within a year, the two sides had become distinct, with the chimpanzees staying and socializing only within their own groups, a full two years before the fighting spilled over into full-on warfare. The researchers suspect that the divide occurred after an ape called Humphrey became the alpha male, something the southern males Charlie and Hugh disagreed with.  

    By working out who spent more time socializing with who, the researchers could build up complex social webs of the chimps. Ikiwaner/Wikimedia Commons

    Over the next four years, and a campaign of skirmishes, violence, and kidnapping, Humphrey and his northern community killed every single male in the southern group and took over their territory, as well as the only three surviving females. In fact, this latest study shows that it was likely the limited number of mature females in the forest at the time that precipitated the conflict.

    The researchers suggest that – not unlike what we see in human communities today – the infighting among the males was largely driven by ambition, power, and jealousy, and as such would likely have occurred with or without Goodall being there. 

    Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/brutal-chimpanzee-war-was-likely-driven-by-power-ambition-and-jealousy/

    Duffer Brothers Slam ‘Meritless’ Stranger Things Ripoff Lawsuit Here’s Why The Ideas Seem So Similar!

    In case you haven’t heard,

    Now the showrunners are hitting back through their lawyer, who released a statement saying:

    “Mr. Kessler’s claim is completely meritless. He had no connection to the creation or development of Stranger Things. The Duffer Brothers have neither seen Mr. Kessler’s short film nor discussed any project with him. This is just an attempt to profit from other people’s creativity and hard work.”

    Kessler’s pitch allegedly includes a young boy disappearing, a cop with a haunted past, secret government experiments, and a monster from another dimension that looks like a child’s toy — things that might sound familiar to fans of the show.

    But Kessler even says they stole his title — because Stranger Things was originally titled Montauk!

    The Duffers have been open about the original title of their show; heck, it’s on the Wikipedia page! They even made this faux retro book cover as part of their pitch:

    So how could the two come up with a similar premise and the EXACT SAME title independently??

    Well, it’s not from out of thin air… or the Upside Down.

    Both were based on the real life Montauk Project conspiracy theory, which has been around since the early 1980s. According to rumors, a government institute in Montauk, New York, conducted strange experiments there. A parapsychologist with “repressed memories” wrote a series of books about it which included teleportation, mind control, aliens, and a hole in time and space.

    There was a documentary about it in 2014. It was even featured in an X-Files episode.

    Hmm… Seems like a lot of what Kessler is claiming as his own wasn’t even his. As for his actual pitch, we guess a judge will have to decide.

    [Image via Netflix.]

    Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2018-04-04-stranger-things-lawsuit-duffer-brothers-respond-lawyer-statement

    Are you ready? This is all the data Facebook and Google have on you | Dylan Curran

    The harvesting of our personal details goes far beyond what many of us could imagine. So I braced myself and had a look

    Want to freak yourself out? Im going to show just how much of your information the likes of Facebook and Google store about you without you even realising it.

    Google knows where youve been

    Google stores your location (if you have location tracking turned on) every time you turn on your phone. You can see a timeline of where youve been from the very first day you started using Google on your phone.

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/maps/timeline?

    Here is every place I have been in the last 12 months in Ireland. You can see the time of day that I was in the location and how long it took me to get to that location from my previous one.

    A
    A Google map of every place Ive been in Ireland this year. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Google knows everything youve ever searched and deleted

    Google stores search history across all your devices. That can mean that, even if you delete your search history and phone history on one device, it may still have data saved from other devices.

    Click on this link to see your own data: myactivity.google.com/myactivity

    Google has an advertisement profile of you

    Google creates an advertisement profile based on your information, including your location, gender, age, hobbies, career, interests, relationship status, possible weight (need to lose 10lb in one day?) and income.

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/settings/ads/

    Google knows all the apps you use

    Google stores information on every app and extension you use. They know how often you use them, where you use them, and who you use them to interact with. That means they know who you talk to on Facebook, what countries are you speaking with, what time you go to sleep.

    Click on this link to see your own data: security.google.com/settings/secur

    Google has all of your YouTube history

    Google stores all of your YouTube history, so they probably know whether youre going to be a parent soon, if youre a conservative, if youre a progressive, if youre Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, if youre feeling depressed or suicidal, if youre anorexic

    Click on this link to see your own data: youtube.com/feed/history/s

    The data Google has on you can fill millions of Word documents

    Google offers an option to download all of the data it stores about you. Ive requested to download it and the file is 5.5GB big, which is roughly 3m Word documents.

    This link includes your bookmarks, emails, contacts, your Google Drive files, all of the above information, your YouTube videos, the photos youve taken on your phone, the businesses youve bought from, the products youve bought through Google

    They also have data from your calendar, your Google hangout sessions, your location history, the music you listen to, the Google books youve purchased, the Google groups youre in, the websites youve created, the phones youve owned, the pages youve shared, how many steps you walk in a day

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/takeout

    Facebook has reams and reams of data on you, too

    Facebook offers a similar option to download all your information. Mine was roughly 600MB, which is roughly 400,000 Word documents.

    This includes every message youve ever sent or been sent, every file youve ever sent or been sent, all the contacts in your phone, and all the audio messages youve ever sent or been sent.

    Click here to see your data: https://www.facebook.com/help/131112897028467

    A
    A snapshot of the data Facebook has saved on me. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Facebook stores everything from your stickers to your login location

    Facebook also stores what it thinks you might be interested in based off the things youve liked and what you and your friends talk about (I apparently like the topic girl).

    Somewhat pointlessly, they also store all the stickers youve ever sent on Facebook (I have no idea why they do this. Its just a joke at this stage).

    They also store every time you log in to Facebook, where you logged in from, what time, and from what device.

    And they store all the applications youve ever had connected to your Facebook account, so they can guess Im interested in politics and web and graphic design, that I was single between X and Y period with the installation of Tinder, and I got a HTC phone in November.

    (Side note, if you have Windows 10 installed, this is a picture of just the privacy options with 16 different sub-menus, which have all of the options enabled by default when you install Windows 10)

    Privacy
    Privacy options in Windows 10. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    They can access your webcam and microphone

    The data they collect includes tracking where you are, what applications you have installed, when you use them, what you use them for, access to your webcam and microphone at any time, your contacts, your emails, your calendar, your call history, the messages you send and receive, the files you download, the games you play, your photos and videos, your music, your search history, your browsing history, even what radio stations you listen to.

    Here are some of the different ways Google gets your data

    I got the Google Takeout document with all my information, and this is a breakdown of all the different ways they get your information.

    My
    My Google Takeout document. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Heres the search history document, which has 90,000 different entries, even showing the images I downloaded and the websites I accessed (I showed the Pirate Bay section to show how much damage this information can do).

    data
    My search history document has 90,000 different entries. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Google knows which events you attended, and when

    Heres my Google Calendar broken down, showing all the events Ive ever added, whether I actually attended them, and what time I attended them at (this part is when I went for an interview for a marketing job, and what time I arrived).

    data
    Here is my Google calendar showing a job interview I attended. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    And Google has information you deleted

    This is my Google Drive, which includes files I explicitly deleted including my rsum, my monthly budget, and all the code, files and websites Ive ever made, and even my PGP private key, which I deleted, that I use to encrypt emails.

    data

    Google can know your workout routine

    This is my Google Fit, which shows all of the steps Ive ever taken, any time I walked anywhere, and all the times Ive recorded any meditation/yoga/workouts Ive done (I deleted this information and revoked Google Fits permissions).

    data

    And they have years worth of photos

    This is all the photos ever taken with my phone, broken down by year, and includes metadata of when and where I took the photos

    data

    Google has every email you ever sent

    Every email Ive ever sent, thats been sent to me, including the ones I deleted or were categorised as spam.

    data

    And there is more

    Ill just do a short summary of whats in the thousands of files I received under my Google Activity.

    First, every Google Ad Ive ever viewed or clicked on, every app Ive ever launched or used and when I did it, every website Ive ever visited and what time I did it at, and every app Ive ever installed or searched for.

    Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/mar/28/all-the-data-facebook-google-has-on-you-privacy

    The Shirk Report Volume 464

    Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find 20 funny images, 10 interesting articles and 5 entertaining videos from the last 7 days of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles from Facebook, Twitter, and email; videos come from everywhere. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com

    20 IMAGES

    Friday!
    Ever seen an angry unicorn?
    I remember my first time
    I respect this on multiple levels
    This deer would show up every day to chill so the owners got him his own day bed
    WANT
    ¡Cows!
    Seriously
    Meanwhile on Old People Facebook
    Never change Jordan Peele
    🙋
    Me trying to multitask at anything
    Respect the long game
    His neighbors love him (pretty sweet though)
    That backspin though
    Don’t lie and tell me you neatly stack yours
    When you have a glass table and your dog begs for food
    ✅
    Needed that
    Until next week

    10 ARTICLES

    Chuck Feeney: the billionaire who gave it all away
    Almost all plastic in the ocean comes from just 10 rivers
    Here Come the Fake Videos, Too
    Go Ahead, Millennials, Destroy Us
    The Design Theory Behind Amazon’s $5.6 Billion Success
    Perfectionism Is Increasing, and That’s Not Good News (thx for sharing Big City Smitty!)
    Don’t make fun of renowned Dan Brown
    The dangerous social cycle that makes us buy things we don’t need
    A Day In the Life of a Line Cook at One of NYC’s Fanciest Restaurants
    Lobsters can’t live forever—but they do keep growing and growing until they die

    5 VIDEOS + cookie

    IT’S BEEN A SLICE

    Read more: http://twistedsifter.com/2018/03/the-shirk-report-volume-464/

    Stephen Hawking in quotes

    Image copyright Graham CopeKoga
    Image caption Prof Hawking was still working at Cambridge University at the age of 75

    He was trapped in his own body by motor neurone disease, but that did not stop Prof Stephen Hawking help us all get an understanding of the universe.

    The world renowned physicist has died at the age of 76, leaving the world memorable words on a host of subjects.

    Confined to a wheelchair and largely unable to speak, most of them were delivered through his famous voice synthesiser.

    From the reasons for the universe’s existence to the downside of fame, here are some of his pearls of wisdom:

    On why the universe exists…

    ❝If we find the answer to that, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason – for then we would know the mind of God❞ – A Brief History Of Time, published 1988

    On black holes…

    Image copyright NASA

    On humanity…

    ❝We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special❞ – Interview, Der Spiegel, October 1988

    On life…

    ❝One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don’t throw it away❞ – Interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer, June 2010

    On commercial success…

    ❝I want my books sold on airport bookstalls❞- Interview, New York Times, December 2004

    On living with a disability…

    ❝My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit, as well as physically❞ – Interview, New York Times, May 2011

    On God…

    Image copyright NASA

    On an imperfect world…

    ❝Without imperfection, you or I would not exist❞ – On Into The Universe With Stephen Hawking, Discovery Channel, 2010

    On staying cheerful…

    ❝Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny❞ – Interview, New York Times, December 2004

    On euthanasia…

    ❝The victim should have the right to end his life, if he wants. But I think it would be a great mistake. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there’s life, there is hope❞ – People’s Daily Online, June 2006

    On artificial intelligence…

    ❝The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race. It would take off on its own, and re-design itself at an ever increasing rate… Humans, who are limited by slow biological evolution, couldn’t compete, and would be superseded❞ – Interview, BBC, December 2014

    On fame…

    Image copyright Getty Images

    On the possibility of contact between humans and aliens…

    ❝I think it would be a disaster. The extraterrestrials would probably be far in advance of us. The history of advanced races meeting more primitive people on this planet is not very happy, and they were the same species. I think we should keep our heads low❞ – In Naked Science: Alien Contact, the National Geographic Channel, 2004

    On space colonies…

    ❝I don’t think the human race will survive the next 1,000 years, unless we spread into space. There are too many accidents that can befall life on a single planet. But I’m an optimist. We will reach out to the stars❞ – Interview, the Daily Telegraph, October 2001

    On the end of the universe…

    ❝It will take about a thousand million million million million years for the Earth to run into the sun, so there’s no immediate cause for worry!❞ – A Brief History Of Time, published 1988

    On being diagnosed with motor neurone disease…

    ❝My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus❞ – Interview. New York Times, December 2004

    On death…

    ❝I have lived with the prospect of an early death for the last 49 years. I’m not afraid of death, but I’m in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first❞ – Interview, the Guardian, May 2011

    Read more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43396627

    What We’re Still Not Teaching Kids About Consent

    If I’m remembering correctly, sex ed in the ’80s consisted of the following lessons:

    — First grade: Tell someone if a grownup (who isn’t a doctor) touches your private parts

    — Fifth grade: You’re going to bleed from your private parts one day, catch these free diaper-sized maxi pads as we lob them at your head

    — Tenth grade: You know what sex is, right? Don’t do that unless you like making babies. And if you’re going to have sex, wear a condom because of AIDS. Good luck!

    If you’re wondering where the big lessons on consent were, so am I. If I’m being generous, I can conjure up a fuzzy memory of a tenth-grade coach/teacher in belted short shorts telling the boys in the room, “Guys, no means no. I mean it.” And that would have been the final word on the subject, because we all thought we were using the same language when it came to consent. Yes was yes, no was no, where’s the confusion?

    The confusion, as we’ve mentioned before, is in how pop culture tells men that no really means “maybe, try again,” and tells women that if you didn’t say no hard enough, you probably didn’t mean it in the first place. Maybe work on your communication skills, body language, and drinking schedule for next time, girly. The confusion comes in real-world situations in which body parts are already slippery and engorged and you want this but not that, and you aren’t sure how to say you want this but not that. The confusion comes when no one teaches that “maybe,” “not yet,” “let’s just kiss” and *gentle push to create distance* should be treated as “no,” full stop.

    Consent is sticky and confusing not just because sex itself can be sticky and confusing, but also because we haven’t given future sexual beings the language, tools, or authority to communicate what they want out of sex. And yes, when I say “future sexual beings,” I mean kids. This is a column about kids and sex.

    I’m sorry.

    No, I’m not.

    Parents, it’s on us to do better by our kids. Because lessons about consent start on Day One.

    4

    Teach Your Kids That They Don’t Owe Anyone Hugs And Kisses

    Day One of Parenthood: So you’ve got a floppy-headed baby who can’t see straight, can’t do anything but sleep, cry, poop, and latch (if you’re lucky), and is basically a hair scrunchie in human form. Day One isn’t the best day to start teaching consent, I guess. Whatever, let’s fast-forward.

    Skip ahead to Day 730ish. Now you’ve got a toddler, and this toddler is so effing cute that you’re considering renaming them “Pixar.” We’re talking about chipmunk cheeks, 20 perfect square teeth that aren’t crowded or decayed in any way, a big fat Buddha belly accentuated by a onesie that this child has no shame in wearing, turkey drum limbs, and a Frankenstein gait that only makes them more squeezable. I just LOVE TODDLERS SO MUCH. Parents, I want to hug your squishy toddlers.

    Also, I’m your problem.

    Your job as a parent is to teach your child that that they own their adorable squishy bodies, and that grandmas, aunts, uncles, fun cute adult friends who seem to pose zero harm (like me!) aren’t deserving of their hugs just because they’re big and nice and want the hugs.

    Let’s put it this way: When you’re a toddler, every other human is a Mountain. Not necessarily the Mountain who gave birth to the Mountain who gave birth to you, just a huge mass of someone who isn’t your mom or your dad. For some babies, that distinction is wiped away quickly, and hugs and kisses are as naturally forthcoming as the poop that defies gravity to land mid-back while their parents are trying to enjoy a night at Olive Garden. That’s why you, the parent, have to start giving your child options about hugs and kisses as soon as they’re big enough to understand “yes” and “no.”

    Here’s a dramatic reenactment of a conversation that’s happening somewhere in the world at this very second:

    Mom: Give Grandma a hug.

    Child: *Frozen, suspicious and belligerent*

    Grandma: Awww, can I have a hug? I flew across the country to see you! *Holds flabby arms out*

    Mom: Give Grandma a hug or you can go to your room until you’re ready to be nice.

    Grandma: No, it’s OK. *Mimes wiping away fake tears for dramatic effect*

    Child: *Gives robot hug*

    When I was a little kid, the consequences of disappointing an adult by not giving them physical affection could have ended with a guilt trip, an earlier bedtime, or worst-case scenario, a spanking. When my parents were kids, I’m guessing they were sent to the coal mines if they let down their older relatives in the hugging department.

    The point is that we’ve trained children to think that when it comes to something innocent like hugs or tickling (when the whole point is how much the kid doesn’t want it), an adult’s feelings are more important than a child’s personal space. If you want your kid to say “no” with authority and confidence in the backseat of a driverless car ten years from now, they have to get practice saying no in general. More importantly, they have to know that hurting Grandma or Miss Kristi’s (that’s what kids call me sometimes) feelings is much less important than listening to their own gut.

    By the way, I’m not advocating for adults to glue their arms to their sides and bow in deep respect every time they encounter a toddler. If I get to meet your toddler, I’m going to do what I always do: Sit on the floor and play with them and ask for a hug at the end of the visit. And if they say no or hesitate, I’ll back off and maybe ask for a high five instead. I’ll be fine. Your job as a parent is to give your kids lots of practice at turning people like me down so that they’re really good at saying no when the stakes are way higher.

    Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cherished friends of children, the same message goes to you. Do not make a child feel guilty for not wanting to give you a hug, even if you gave them a really cool present.

    3

    Teach Your Kids That No One Can Hit Them (Not Even You)

    Oh, we’re going there.

    When my kids were little, we had a Biblical(ish) approach to parenting, and discipline included spankings. Back then, my husband and I agreed that spankings (or pops on the bottom, as we called them) were a good tool for teaching a lesson when a child did something that could get them hurt. Running out into the street, for example, would get a pop on the bottom. (And we were usually talking about a weak slap on a diapered booty.) The logic was that the fear of getting a spanking combined with the pain of the spanking would create a memory that would make them never ever want to run into the street again.

    Unfortunately, once you’ve allowed yourself to hit someone as a form of discipline or instruction, you don’t always follow your own rules, because you’re also human. Did we also give reactionary “spankings” in anger? Yes, once or twice because we’d opened the door to spankings and didn’t manage ourselves as well as we should have. Did we give “spankings” on non-diapered bottoms to kids who weren’t running out into the street but were mouthing off? Sadly, yes.

    I regret allowing spanking in my home because A) spankings allowed my kids to see the very worst version of me, and B) research is revealing that spanking is tied to aggressive behavior, lower self-esteem, and increased mental health problems. I know the Bible says that kids who don’t get spanked grow up to be spoiled, but if your best tool for raising nice children is to hit them when they’re bad, you maybe shouldn’t be raising kids? And maybe stay away from dogs too while we’re at it.

    Actually, let’s drop the word “spank” altogether for a minute, because it’s a euphemism for hitting, and we should be honest with ourselves when we hit another person, especially a child. As a child, you’re told that hitting other kids is bad and that kids who hit are bullies. But if you’ve been bad, your parents, grandparents, and sometimes your principal can hit you, and that’s OK because they’re big and old and in charge. The most basic, fundamental standard of human decency we’ve come up with throughout human history — do unto others as you’d have done to you — doesn’t apply to children.

    So how do childhood spankings tie into consent in sexual situations? A kid who received spankings goes into adolescence and adulthood with the memory of being physically punished for being disobedient. They know what it’s like to get hurt for disappointing someone they love and trust. They know that it’s possible for people they care about to hurt them if they do something wrong. Ultimately, they were raised to believe that no one should hurt them unless it’s someone they love.

    How does that lesson not make its way into the bedroom?

    If we want our kids to walk into their first sexual experiences with the confidence to say no if they want to say no, we should start by practicing what we preach in the decades before the moment happens. “No one is allowed to hit you, not even me. You are in charge of your body, all the time, even when you’ve done something wrong. There is nothing you can do that will make me hurt your body, because that’s now how we treat each other.”

    If you take spankings off the table, your child never gets taught that authority figures are allowed to hurt them if the conditions are right. Or that big people are authorized to apply their own internal logic of when it’s OK to hit and when it’s not OK to hurt their bodies.

    Speaking of authority figures …

    2

    Teach Your Kids That Authority Figures And Heroes Can Be Bad

    As of this writing, Larry Nassar, the doctor who used his position to sexually assault at least 120 young gymnasts, has been sentenced to 40-75 years in prison for his crimes. He won’t have the opportunity to serve those years until he finishes his 60-year sentence for the child porn charges that came before. I know. I hate him too.

    It’s important to note here that this Nassar monster doesn’t fit neatly in an article about consent, but I’m dragging his sorry name in here anyway because we’re talking about parenting, and every parent should know what this man did. Consent is something that happens between two adults who are trying to hash out how far they want to go together. Consent is not a thing when a child is involved, ever. I bring Nassar up because during his trial, his victims weren’t only pointing their fingers at him; they shed light on the dozens of moments when the system that was supposed to protect them protected him instead. We’re talking about a man who sexually abused little girls while their parents were in the room.

    And these weren’t regular parents like you and me. These were the kind of parents who would change jobs, move across the country, and invest thousands of dollars into making their children’s athletic dreams come true. They reworked their entire lives around their kids. They were like, super parents. But they couldn’t tell when a doctor was molesting their babies. Why? Because the very first rule they learned in their sexual education, and the first rule they taught their own kids, was that doctors are allowed to touch private parts.

    I bring up Nassar because I can imagine the thought processes of both the victims and the parents in the room when he was committing his crimes. At the heart of their misgivings about his actions was self-doubt, feeling that they were wrong for feeling uncomfortable. This man is a doctor. Self-doubt is also at the heart of every adult encounter in which one person isn’t sure of how far they want to go but they don’t know how to express themselves. For example, when a woman is on a date with a guy she’s liked for a long time and second-guesses herself when he wants to move too fast because he’s well-liked and kind.

    Self-doubt doesn’t emerge fully formed in someone’s head out of nowhere. It comes from the stories you tell yourself about yourself, and how much you trust your own feelings. Nassar lasted as a predator for multiple decades because most of us are freaking little kids when it comes to submitting to authority, and Nassar was a doctor, so he was an authority. He lasted because we will do mental gymnastics to avoid confrontation with people who hurt us, and we’d rather suffer than trust our own instincts.

    So give your kids some room to doubt authority figures every now and then. Let them explore the concept that grownups can be bad, because yeah, some of them are monsters. Let your kids practice saying “no,” like, all the time. You think I’m kidding, but it’s shockingly hard to say “no” as an adult, especially to someone you like.

    1

    Teach Your Kids To Read And Respect The People Around Them

    I can’t speak for every other woman out there, but the Aziz Ansari date night story hit me harder than the James Franco stories or accounts of Louis C.K. masturbating in front of female comedians, even though their actions were objectively more disgusting in every way. The Ansari account was painful because his date tied herself into knots as she tried to come up with ways to say “no” without hurting his feelings, but every clue she dropped was met with “yes, but,” as if their whole date was an improv game. A woman left his apartment in tears, and he thought they had a great night 24 hours later.

    Unfortunately, the story was the best illustration of a consent problem that I’ve ever seen. One person struggled to say no, and the other person didn’t read, see, or hear her struggle at all, or read it and didn’t care. While every other entry on the list is a way to help your kid not become a victim, this one is to help your kid not become a person who tries to have sex with someone who’s not into it. That’s a matter of empathy, and it can be taught.

    This starts with modeling empathy over and over and over again. Read your kids’ faces and bodies, and show them that they can read their friends’ faces as bodies as well. Literally say “Your face looks sad. Are you OK?” Or “Why did your friend go hide under the slide and start crying when you were playing? What happened?” Or “I can tell you’re mad at me because I ate all of the Goldfish while you were at school. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

    If the idea of acknowledging a child’s facial expressions and body language out loud over and over again is exhausting, that’s because it is. And that’s not including the times you’re calling them out for the wrong reasons. “Wipe that face off your face” is a favorite expression in my house, because everybody hates grumpy faces. But I can’t think of another way to teach kids how to check in with the emotional states of the people around them than to just … do that. Like, all the time.

    Despite what pop culture has taught us, we want boys (and girls) who want to read faces and body language and want to land on the same place as their partners. We want future adults to pride themselves on how attuned they are to the person in front of them, especially when we’re talking about sex. We want guys (and girls) who ask “Is this OK?” before they get handsy because that’s how much they respect the person they’re with, even if they just met.

    Parents, don’t wait for pop culture to catch up on teaching consent. It’s not going to happen any time soon. By the time the next generation of screenwriters figures out how to write sexy scenes that handle consent really well, your kids are already going to be grown.

    Feel free to check in on Kristi’s emotional state whenever you want over on Twitter.

    If you have children yourself and need some help with this, authors are writing children’s books geared towards teaching them these very things. Check them out!

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    Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/what-were-still-not-teaching-kids-about-consent/