Ever wonder “How to get my book reviewed”?

Books
Books/Image Source: Vbctulsa

So you’ve published your book. Its been edited and published, and now you’re trying to figure out how to get to your potential readers. While starting your marketing campaign usually happens well before your book is completed, getting your first reviews can’t begin until your book is done or in a final draft status.

Many stores won’t carry a small press or self-published book that doesn’t have reviews from a recognizable publishing. So how do you get someone to pay attention to your book among all of the hundreds, if not thousands, of submissions they see every month?

City Book Review, publishers of the San Francisco Book Review, Manhattan Book Review and Kids’ BookBuzz all have programs to help you. Kids BookBuzz is only for kids, tweens and young adult books, but the other two will take almost any book you have (including children’s stories).

So how do you get your book reviewed by the San Francisco Book Review?

If your book is within 90 days of the publications date, you can submit it for general review (at no cost). The closer you are to the 90 days, the less of a chance it will have to be reviewed, but you can still start there. The SFBR gets more than 1000 submissions a month, and only reviews 300 or less, so your opportunities of getting your book reviewed in this way is less than 33%. But you can give it a try and see if it gets reviewed.

General Submission Guidelineshttp://www.sanfranciscobookreview.com/submission-guidelines/general-submission/

If your book is more than 90 days past its publication date, or you really want to have it reviewed and don’t want to just hope it’ll get picked up through the general review, you can go through the Sponsored Review program. While there is some controversy about paying for a review, SFBR is a respected publication like Kirkus or Foreward Reviews and doesn’t offer vanity reviews for payment. You can expect the same level of professionalism from their standard reviews. And they don’t mark sponsored reviews any different than the other reviews.

Get My Book Reviewed from the San Francisco Book Reviewhttp://sanfranciscobookreview.com/submission-guidelines/sponsored-review/

Get My Book Reviewed from the San Francisco Book Review

There are a lot of different options for getting your book reviewed, mostly around how long it takes to get your review back, and if you want more than one or an interview as well.

  • Standard Reviews Take 8-10 weeks for turnaround from the time they receive your book Start at
  • Expedited Reviews Take 3-5 weeks for turnaround from the time they receive your book Start at
  • Get more than one review for the same book you’ll get a discount on the normal cost of 2 or 3 reviews. Reviews range in price from $150 to $299.
  • Getting a podcast interview for Audible Authors to promote yourself and your book, and you can add an interview to a review package at a discount.

And if you really like your review, you can have it posted on the other publication’s website for $99, or get a new review from a different reviewer. Both can help with your marketing and search engine optimization.

So how do you get your book reviewed by the Manhattan Book Review?

The Manhattan Book Review uses the same format for the San Francisco Book Review. Different audience, so if you’re an East Coast writer, you might be more interested in having the credit from MBR over SFBR. Personal taste is the only difference between the two for reviews. If you are a local SF or Manhattan writer, they will also flag that in your review.

General Review Submission Guidelines for the Manhattan Book Reviewhttp://manhattanbookreview.com/get-my-book-reviewed/general-submission/

Sponsored Review Submission Guidelines for the Manhattan Book Reviewhttp://manhattanbookreview.com/get-my-book-reviewed/sponsored-reviews/

So how do you get your book reviewed by Kids’ BookBuzz?

First thing, all of the reviews for Kids’ BookBuzz are done by kids. They are assigned age appropriate books, but the kids read them and write the reviews themselves. The younger kids have some help from their parents, but the words are all theirs. Don’t expect any easy reviews either. These kids see a lot of stories, so they know good books when they read them.

General Submission Guidelines for Kids’ BookBuzzhttp://kidsbookbuzz.com/get-my-book-reviewed-by-a-kid/general-submission/

Sponsored Review Submission Guidelines for Kids’ BookBuzz http://kidsbookbuzz.com/get-my-book-reviewed-by-a-kid/sponsored-reviews/

Paid summer breaks and other common myths about teachers

(CNN)As teachers in several states across the United States protest for higher pay and more funding for public education, lawmakers and onlookers are debating whether teachers deserve more money.

Here are a few common myths about teachers and their pay.

MYTH: Teachers work less than other professionals

    According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average length of an American school day is just over 6.5 hours. But teachers work much longer than that.
    Kristen Emanuel, a 7th grade teacher in New York City, said she regularly works 11 hours a day. Nine of those are spent at school.
    More than 3.5 million full-time teachers in the United States are required to work 38.2 hours a week on average, according to the NCES. But when taking into account all other school-related activities teachers participate in — like after school conferences, staff meetings and extracurricular programs — they actually end up working 53.3 hours during a typical work week.
    For most other professions, a typical American work week in 2017 was 42.3 hours, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
    Emanuel stays at the school late to work on lesson plans and prepare for the next day, she said, knowing it will be harder to get work done at home with her three kids.
    When she finally leaves work, Emanuel makes her kids dinner and puts them to bed. “And the second they’re down, I start grading papers and doing lesson plans for the next day,” she said, adding she also spends 4 to 5 hours grading papers on the weekend.
    “I love my students, but it’s also emotionally exhausting, physically exhausting and mentally taxing,” Emanuel said.
    Leslie Busch, a special education teacher in Kentucky, agrees. “It’s not a 9 to 5 and leave-your-stuff-at-work kind of job,” she said. “You live it. You breathe it. It’s there with you all the time.”

    MYTH: Teachers have a paid summer vacation

    “That’s a misconception on many people’s minds,” Busch told CNN. In fact, teachers are only paid for the days they work. For Busch, that’s 187 days a year.
    Busch said many teachers, including herself, choose to have a portion of each of their paychecks withheld during the school year so they can continue to receive a paycheck through the summer. That means about 9 months’ worth of money is spread out over 12 months.
    Several teachers in different states told CNN they choose to have their pay prorated so they can have a steady stream of income over the summer, but they’re not getting paid to lounge by the pool, they said.
    “I get a paycheck,” Busch said. “I do not get extra pay.”

      Teacher’s photo leads to outpouring of support

    Emanuel also chooses to have her pay spread out. “It’s about budgeting,” she said, “and allocating pay.”
    “I do it myself because I just like to have that steady stream of income,” she told CNN, adding that some teachers choose not to have their pay withheld, and receive the money up front. But those teachers won’t get a paycheck over the summer.

    MYTH: Teachers are given all their supplies

    Many teachers have to pay for classroom supplies out of their own pockets, further adding to the financial burdens many educators are facing.
    A 2016 study by educational publisher Scholastic found teachers, on average, spent $530 of their personal money on supplies for their classrooms.
    They’re buying supplies for students like pencils, notebooks, tissues, books, lesson plans, technology and software, the study showed.
    Kerrie Dallman, the president of the Colorado Education Association (CEA), said each year she’d spend between $800 and $1,000 on average buying supplemental textbooks and classroom materials, but most CEA members pay about $650.
    Emanuel, the teacher in New York City, buys books, posterboard, tape, scissors, staplers, hand sanitizer, tissues and organizational materials, she said. “It really runs the gamut.”
    It’s gotten better in recent years, she said, with organizations like DonorsChoose.org helping teachers supply their classrooms. But she said still spends at least $1,000 each year.

    MYTH: All teachers receive an adequate wage

    Besides the teaching work they take home, many educators take on extra work or second jobs to supplement their incomes.
    In the 2015-2016 school year, 17.9% of public school teachers had a job outside of the school system, according to data from the NCES. Another 44.5% took on extracurricular activities within the school system that netted additional pay.
    Dallman said she worked all kinds of jobs to make extra money when she was in the classroom, teaching high school social studies.
    “In the past I’ve coached swimming, I’ve coached softball,” she said. “I have worked for UPS as a truck loader in the summer in 100-degree heat in a semi-truck at midnight.”
    The CEA collects information from its 35,000 members to see what additional jobs they take to supplement their salaries, and there are many examples of teachers driving for Lyft, working at Walmart or doing landscaping, Dallman said.
    Colorado teachers aren’t alone, either. Educators in Oklahoma told CNN about working 2, 3 or even up to 6 jobs to make ends meet.
    “I think it’s a real testament to an individual’s commitment to teaching when they could probably go find another job and earn more money,” Dallman said.
    “But,” she adds, “they stay in the classroom because of their passion for our students.”

    Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/15/us/teacher-pay-myth-misconception/index.html

    Brutal Chimpanzee War Was Likely Driven By Power, Ambition, And Jealousy

    When a new leader was crowned, it was hoped that the community would settle down and peace would prevail. But two younger pretenders had other ideas, their lofty ambitions meaning they wanted to seize power for themselves. The resulting fracture in the group led to years of brutal warfare, during which raids were conducted, ambushes set, and no one was above murder.

    The conflict became known as the Four-Year War of Gombe, and is the only known fully documented chimpanzee civil war. Now a new study has re-examined the episodes that led up to the war, to try to figure out what sparked it.

    The events were recorded by Jane Goodall after a decade of watching the community of chimps at Gombe National Park, at a time when chimpanzees were still thought to be peaceful, forest-living apes. Between the years of 1974 and 1978, she observed the extreme violence that can pervade as the one community seemingly split and the apes waged a savage war. What she witnessed truly disturbed her.

    Goodall showed that the chimps at Gombe were far more violent than thought. Ikiwaner/Wikimedia Commons

    “Often when I woke in the night, horrific pictures sprang unbidden to my mind – Satan [one of the apes], cupping his hand below Sniff’s chin to drink the blood that welled from a great wound on his face… Jomeo tearing a strip of skin from Dé’s thigh; Figan, charging and hitting, again and again, the stricken, quivering body of Goliath, one of his childhood heroes,” Goodall wrote in her memoir of her time at Gombe.

    But the cause of the war has always been up for debate. Was it a natural event that was occurring independently of Goodall, who was simply observing the apes, or was it sparked by the feeding station that she had set up in the forest, bringing an unnatural group of chimps together?

    After digitalizing all of Goodall’s original field notes from her time at Gombe and then sifting through them, researchers built up an impressively detailed picture of the social interactions and friendships between the chimps at the time, and mapped how these changed. They published their results in the American Journal of Physical Anthropology.

    They found that the seeds for the conflict were already there in the years leading up to the war. While at the end of the 1960s, all males were intermingling quite happily, by 1971, fractures were beginning to show. The northern and southern males were starting to spend less time with each other, and encounters became increasingly aggressive.  

    Within a year, the two sides had become distinct, with the chimpanzees staying and socializing only within their own groups, a full two years before the fighting spilled over into full-on warfare. The researchers suspect that the divide occurred after an ape called Humphrey became the alpha male, something the southern males Charlie and Hugh disagreed with.  

    By working out who spent more time socializing with who, the researchers could build up complex social webs of the chimps. Ikiwaner/Wikimedia Commons

    Over the next four years, and a campaign of skirmishes, violence, and kidnapping, Humphrey and his northern community killed every single male in the southern group and took over their territory, as well as the only three surviving females. In fact, this latest study shows that it was likely the limited number of mature females in the forest at the time that precipitated the conflict.

    The researchers suggest that – not unlike what we see in human communities today – the infighting among the males was largely driven by ambition, power, and jealousy, and as such would likely have occurred with or without Goodall being there. 

    Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/brutal-chimpanzee-war-was-likely-driven-by-power-ambition-and-jealousy/

    Duffer Brothers Slam ‘Meritless’ Stranger Things Ripoff Lawsuit Here’s Why The Ideas Seem So Similar!

    In case you haven’t heard,

    Now the showrunners are hitting back through their lawyer, who released a statement saying:

    “Mr. Kessler’s claim is completely meritless. He had no connection to the creation or development of Stranger Things. The Duffer Brothers have neither seen Mr. Kessler’s short film nor discussed any project with him. This is just an attempt to profit from other people’s creativity and hard work.”

    Kessler’s pitch allegedly includes a young boy disappearing, a cop with a haunted past, secret government experiments, and a monster from another dimension that looks like a child’s toy — things that might sound familiar to fans of the show.

    But Kessler even says they stole his title — because Stranger Things was originally titled Montauk!

    The Duffers have been open about the original title of their show; heck, it’s on the Wikipedia page! They even made this faux retro book cover as part of their pitch:

    So how could the two come up with a similar premise and the EXACT SAME title independently??

    Well, it’s not from out of thin air… or the Upside Down.

    Both were based on the real life Montauk Project conspiracy theory, which has been around since the early 1980s. According to rumors, a government institute in Montauk, New York, conducted strange experiments there. A parapsychologist with “repressed memories” wrote a series of books about it which included teleportation, mind control, aliens, and a hole in time and space.

    There was a documentary about it in 2014. It was even featured in an X-Files episode.

    Hmm… Seems like a lot of what Kessler is claiming as his own wasn’t even his. As for his actual pitch, we guess a judge will have to decide.

    [Image via Netflix.]

    Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2018-04-04-stranger-things-lawsuit-duffer-brothers-respond-lawyer-statement

    Are you ready? This is all the data Facebook and Google have on you | Dylan Curran

    The harvesting of our personal details goes far beyond what many of us could imagine. So I braced myself and had a look

    Want to freak yourself out? Im going to show just how much of your information the likes of Facebook and Google store about you without you even realising it.

    Google knows where youve been

    Google stores your location (if you have location tracking turned on) every time you turn on your phone. You can see a timeline of where youve been from the very first day you started using Google on your phone.

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/maps/timeline?

    Here is every place I have been in the last 12 months in Ireland. You can see the time of day that I was in the location and how long it took me to get to that location from my previous one.

    A
    A Google map of every place Ive been in Ireland this year. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Google knows everything youve ever searched and deleted

    Google stores search history across all your devices. That can mean that, even if you delete your search history and phone history on one device, it may still have data saved from other devices.

    Click on this link to see your own data: myactivity.google.com/myactivity

    Google has an advertisement profile of you

    Google creates an advertisement profile based on your information, including your location, gender, age, hobbies, career, interests, relationship status, possible weight (need to lose 10lb in one day?) and income.

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/settings/ads/

    Google knows all the apps you use

    Google stores information on every app and extension you use. They know how often you use them, where you use them, and who you use them to interact with. That means they know who you talk to on Facebook, what countries are you speaking with, what time you go to sleep.

    Click on this link to see your own data: security.google.com/settings/secur

    Google has all of your YouTube history

    Google stores all of your YouTube history, so they probably know whether youre going to be a parent soon, if youre a conservative, if youre a progressive, if youre Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, if youre feeling depressed or suicidal, if youre anorexic

    Click on this link to see your own data: youtube.com/feed/history/s

    The data Google has on you can fill millions of Word documents

    Google offers an option to download all of the data it stores about you. Ive requested to download it and the file is 5.5GB big, which is roughly 3m Word documents.

    This link includes your bookmarks, emails, contacts, your Google Drive files, all of the above information, your YouTube videos, the photos youve taken on your phone, the businesses youve bought from, the products youve bought through Google

    They also have data from your calendar, your Google hangout sessions, your location history, the music you listen to, the Google books youve purchased, the Google groups youre in, the websites youve created, the phones youve owned, the pages youve shared, how many steps you walk in a day

    Click on this link to see your own data: google.com/takeout

    Facebook has reams and reams of data on you, too

    Facebook offers a similar option to download all your information. Mine was roughly 600MB, which is roughly 400,000 Word documents.

    This includes every message youve ever sent or been sent, every file youve ever sent or been sent, all the contacts in your phone, and all the audio messages youve ever sent or been sent.

    Click here to see your data: https://www.facebook.com/help/131112897028467

    A
    A snapshot of the data Facebook has saved on me. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Facebook stores everything from your stickers to your login location

    Facebook also stores what it thinks you might be interested in based off the things youve liked and what you and your friends talk about (I apparently like the topic girl).

    Somewhat pointlessly, they also store all the stickers youve ever sent on Facebook (I have no idea why they do this. Its just a joke at this stage).

    They also store every time you log in to Facebook, where you logged in from, what time, and from what device.

    And they store all the applications youve ever had connected to your Facebook account, so they can guess Im interested in politics and web and graphic design, that I was single between X and Y period with the installation of Tinder, and I got a HTC phone in November.

    (Side note, if you have Windows 10 installed, this is a picture of just the privacy options with 16 different sub-menus, which have all of the options enabled by default when you install Windows 10)

    Privacy
    Privacy options in Windows 10. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    They can access your webcam and microphone

    The data they collect includes tracking where you are, what applications you have installed, when you use them, what you use them for, access to your webcam and microphone at any time, your contacts, your emails, your calendar, your call history, the messages you send and receive, the files you download, the games you play, your photos and videos, your music, your search history, your browsing history, even what radio stations you listen to.

    Here are some of the different ways Google gets your data

    I got the Google Takeout document with all my information, and this is a breakdown of all the different ways they get your information.

    My
    My Google Takeout document. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Heres the search history document, which has 90,000 different entries, even showing the images I downloaded and the websites I accessed (I showed the Pirate Bay section to show how much damage this information can do).

    data
    My search history document has 90,000 different entries. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    Google knows which events you attended, and when

    Heres my Google Calendar broken down, showing all the events Ive ever added, whether I actually attended them, and what time I attended them at (this part is when I went for an interview for a marketing job, and what time I arrived).

    data
    Here is my Google calendar showing a job interview I attended. Photograph: Dylan Curran

    And Google has information you deleted

    This is my Google Drive, which includes files I explicitly deleted including my rsum, my monthly budget, and all the code, files and websites Ive ever made, and even my PGP private key, which I deleted, that I use to encrypt emails.

    data

    Google can know your workout routine

    This is my Google Fit, which shows all of the steps Ive ever taken, any time I walked anywhere, and all the times Ive recorded any meditation/yoga/workouts Ive done (I deleted this information and revoked Google Fits permissions).

    data

    And they have years worth of photos

    This is all the photos ever taken with my phone, broken down by year, and includes metadata of when and where I took the photos

    data

    Google has every email you ever sent

    Every email Ive ever sent, thats been sent to me, including the ones I deleted or were categorised as spam.

    data

    And there is more

    Ill just do a short summary of whats in the thousands of files I received under my Google Activity.

    First, every Google Ad Ive ever viewed or clicked on, every app Ive ever launched or used and when I did it, every website Ive ever visited and what time I did it at, and every app Ive ever installed or searched for.

    Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/mar/28/all-the-data-facebook-google-has-on-you-privacy

    The Shirk Report Volume 464

    Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find 20 funny images, 10 interesting articles and 5 entertaining videos from the last 7 days of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles from Facebook, Twitter, and email; videos come from everywhere. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com

    20 IMAGES

    Friday!
    Ever seen an angry unicorn?
    I remember my first time
    I respect this on multiple levels
    This deer would show up every day to chill so the owners got him his own day bed
    WANT
    ¡Cows!
    Seriously
    Meanwhile on Old People Facebook
    Never change Jordan Peele
    🙋
    Me trying to multitask at anything
    Respect the long game
    His neighbors love him (pretty sweet though)
    That backspin though
    Don’t lie and tell me you neatly stack yours
    When you have a glass table and your dog begs for food
    ✅
    Needed that
    Until next week

    10 ARTICLES

    Chuck Feeney: the billionaire who gave it all away
    Almost all plastic in the ocean comes from just 10 rivers
    Here Come the Fake Videos, Too
    Go Ahead, Millennials, Destroy Us
    The Design Theory Behind Amazon’s $5.6 Billion Success
    Perfectionism Is Increasing, and That’s Not Good News (thx for sharing Big City Smitty!)
    Don’t make fun of renowned Dan Brown
    The dangerous social cycle that makes us buy things we don’t need
    A Day In the Life of a Line Cook at One of NYC’s Fanciest Restaurants
    Lobsters can’t live forever—but they do keep growing and growing until they die

    5 VIDEOS + cookie

    IT’S BEEN A SLICE

    Read more: http://twistedsifter.com/2018/03/the-shirk-report-volume-464/

    Stephen Hawking in quotes

    Image copyright Graham CopeKoga
    Image caption Prof Hawking was still working at Cambridge University at the age of 75

    He was trapped in his own body by motor neurone disease, but that did not stop Prof Stephen Hawking help us all get an understanding of the universe.

    The world renowned physicist has died at the age of 76, leaving the world memorable words on a host of subjects.

    Confined to a wheelchair and largely unable to speak, most of them were delivered through his famous voice synthesiser.

    From the reasons for the universe’s existence to the downside of fame, here are some of his pearls of wisdom:

    On why the universe exists…

    ❝If we find the answer to that, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason – for then we would know the mind of God❞ – A Brief History Of Time, published 1988

    On black holes…

    Image copyright NASA

    On humanity…

    ❝We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special❞ – Interview, Der Spiegel, October 1988

    On life…

    ❝One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don’t throw it away❞ – Interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer, June 2010

    On commercial success…

    ❝I want my books sold on airport bookstalls❞- Interview, New York Times, December 2004

    On living with a disability…

    ❝My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit, as well as physically❞ – Interview, New York Times, May 2011

    On God…

    Image copyright NASA

    On an imperfect world…

    ❝Without imperfection, you or I would not exist❞ – On Into The Universe With Stephen Hawking, Discovery Channel, 2010

    On staying cheerful…

    ❝Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny❞ – Interview, New York Times, December 2004

    On euthanasia…

    ❝The victim should have the right to end his life, if he wants. But I think it would be a great mistake. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there’s life, there is hope❞ – People’s Daily Online, June 2006

    On artificial intelligence…

    ❝The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race. It would take off on its own, and re-design itself at an ever increasing rate… Humans, who are limited by slow biological evolution, couldn’t compete, and would be superseded❞ – Interview, BBC, December 2014

    On fame…

    Image copyright Getty Images

    On the possibility of contact between humans and aliens…

    ❝I think it would be a disaster. The extraterrestrials would probably be far in advance of us. The history of advanced races meeting more primitive people on this planet is not very happy, and they were the same species. I think we should keep our heads low❞ – In Naked Science: Alien Contact, the National Geographic Channel, 2004

    On space colonies…

    ❝I don’t think the human race will survive the next 1,000 years, unless we spread into space. There are too many accidents that can befall life on a single planet. But I’m an optimist. We will reach out to the stars❞ – Interview, the Daily Telegraph, October 2001

    On the end of the universe…

    ❝It will take about a thousand million million million million years for the Earth to run into the sun, so there’s no immediate cause for worry!❞ – A Brief History Of Time, published 1988

    On being diagnosed with motor neurone disease…

    ❝My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus❞ – Interview. New York Times, December 2004

    On death…

    ❝I have lived with the prospect of an early death for the last 49 years. I’m not afraid of death, but I’m in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first❞ – Interview, the Guardian, May 2011

    Read more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43396627

    What We’re Still Not Teaching Kids About Consent

    If I’m remembering correctly, sex ed in the ’80s consisted of the following lessons:

    — First grade: Tell someone if a grownup (who isn’t a doctor) touches your private parts

    — Fifth grade: You’re going to bleed from your private parts one day, catch these free diaper-sized maxi pads as we lob them at your head

    — Tenth grade: You know what sex is, right? Don’t do that unless you like making babies. And if you’re going to have sex, wear a condom because of AIDS. Good luck!

    If you’re wondering where the big lessons on consent were, so am I. If I’m being generous, I can conjure up a fuzzy memory of a tenth-grade coach/teacher in belted short shorts telling the boys in the room, “Guys, no means no. I mean it.” And that would have been the final word on the subject, because we all thought we were using the same language when it came to consent. Yes was yes, no was no, where’s the confusion?

    The confusion, as we’ve mentioned before, is in how pop culture tells men that no really means “maybe, try again,” and tells women that if you didn’t say no hard enough, you probably didn’t mean it in the first place. Maybe work on your communication skills, body language, and drinking schedule for next time, girly. The confusion comes in real-world situations in which body parts are already slippery and engorged and you want this but not that, and you aren’t sure how to say you want this but not that. The confusion comes when no one teaches that “maybe,” “not yet,” “let’s just kiss” and *gentle push to create distance* should be treated as “no,” full stop.

    Consent is sticky and confusing not just because sex itself can be sticky and confusing, but also because we haven’t given future sexual beings the language, tools, or authority to communicate what they want out of sex. And yes, when I say “future sexual beings,” I mean kids. This is a column about kids and sex.

    I’m sorry.

    No, I’m not.

    Parents, it’s on us to do better by our kids. Because lessons about consent start on Day One.

    4

    Teach Your Kids That They Don’t Owe Anyone Hugs And Kisses

    Day One of Parenthood: So you’ve got a floppy-headed baby who can’t see straight, can’t do anything but sleep, cry, poop, and latch (if you’re lucky), and is basically a hair scrunchie in human form. Day One isn’t the best day to start teaching consent, I guess. Whatever, let’s fast-forward.

    Skip ahead to Day 730ish. Now you’ve got a toddler, and this toddler is so effing cute that you’re considering renaming them “Pixar.” We’re talking about chipmunk cheeks, 20 perfect square teeth that aren’t crowded or decayed in any way, a big fat Buddha belly accentuated by a onesie that this child has no shame in wearing, turkey drum limbs, and a Frankenstein gait that only makes them more squeezable. I just LOVE TODDLERS SO MUCH. Parents, I want to hug your squishy toddlers.

    Also, I’m your problem.

    Your job as a parent is to teach your child that that they own their adorable squishy bodies, and that grandmas, aunts, uncles, fun cute adult friends who seem to pose zero harm (like me!) aren’t deserving of their hugs just because they’re big and nice and want the hugs.

    Let’s put it this way: When you’re a toddler, every other human is a Mountain. Not necessarily the Mountain who gave birth to the Mountain who gave birth to you, just a huge mass of someone who isn’t your mom or your dad. For some babies, that distinction is wiped away quickly, and hugs and kisses are as naturally forthcoming as the poop that defies gravity to land mid-back while their parents are trying to enjoy a night at Olive Garden. That’s why you, the parent, have to start giving your child options about hugs and kisses as soon as they’re big enough to understand “yes” and “no.”

    Here’s a dramatic reenactment of a conversation that’s happening somewhere in the world at this very second:

    Mom: Give Grandma a hug.

    Child: *Frozen, suspicious and belligerent*

    Grandma: Awww, can I have a hug? I flew across the country to see you! *Holds flabby arms out*

    Mom: Give Grandma a hug or you can go to your room until you’re ready to be nice.

    Grandma: No, it’s OK. *Mimes wiping away fake tears for dramatic effect*

    Child: *Gives robot hug*

    When I was a little kid, the consequences of disappointing an adult by not giving them physical affection could have ended with a guilt trip, an earlier bedtime, or worst-case scenario, a spanking. When my parents were kids, I’m guessing they were sent to the coal mines if they let down their older relatives in the hugging department.

    The point is that we’ve trained children to think that when it comes to something innocent like hugs or tickling (when the whole point is how much the kid doesn’t want it), an adult’s feelings are more important than a child’s personal space. If you want your kid to say “no” with authority and confidence in the backseat of a driverless car ten years from now, they have to get practice saying no in general. More importantly, they have to know that hurting Grandma or Miss Kristi’s (that’s what kids call me sometimes) feelings is much less important than listening to their own gut.

    By the way, I’m not advocating for adults to glue their arms to their sides and bow in deep respect every time they encounter a toddler. If I get to meet your toddler, I’m going to do what I always do: Sit on the floor and play with them and ask for a hug at the end of the visit. And if they say no or hesitate, I’ll back off and maybe ask for a high five instead. I’ll be fine. Your job as a parent is to give your kids lots of practice at turning people like me down so that they’re really good at saying no when the stakes are way higher.

    Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cherished friends of children, the same message goes to you. Do not make a child feel guilty for not wanting to give you a hug, even if you gave them a really cool present.

    3

    Teach Your Kids That No One Can Hit Them (Not Even You)

    Oh, we’re going there.

    When my kids were little, we had a Biblical(ish) approach to parenting, and discipline included spankings. Back then, my husband and I agreed that spankings (or pops on the bottom, as we called them) were a good tool for teaching a lesson when a child did something that could get them hurt. Running out into the street, for example, would get a pop on the bottom. (And we were usually talking about a weak slap on a diapered booty.) The logic was that the fear of getting a spanking combined with the pain of the spanking would create a memory that would make them never ever want to run into the street again.

    Unfortunately, once you’ve allowed yourself to hit someone as a form of discipline or instruction, you don’t always follow your own rules, because you’re also human. Did we also give reactionary “spankings” in anger? Yes, once or twice because we’d opened the door to spankings and didn’t manage ourselves as well as we should have. Did we give “spankings” on non-diapered bottoms to kids who weren’t running out into the street but were mouthing off? Sadly, yes.

    I regret allowing spanking in my home because A) spankings allowed my kids to see the very worst version of me, and B) research is revealing that spanking is tied to aggressive behavior, lower self-esteem, and increased mental health problems. I know the Bible says that kids who don’t get spanked grow up to be spoiled, but if your best tool for raising nice children is to hit them when they’re bad, you maybe shouldn’t be raising kids? And maybe stay away from dogs too while we’re at it.

    Actually, let’s drop the word “spank” altogether for a minute, because it’s a euphemism for hitting, and we should be honest with ourselves when we hit another person, especially a child. As a child, you’re told that hitting other kids is bad and that kids who hit are bullies. But if you’ve been bad, your parents, grandparents, and sometimes your principal can hit you, and that’s OK because they’re big and old and in charge. The most basic, fundamental standard of human decency we’ve come up with throughout human history — do unto others as you’d have done to you — doesn’t apply to children.

    So how do childhood spankings tie into consent in sexual situations? A kid who received spankings goes into adolescence and adulthood with the memory of being physically punished for being disobedient. They know what it’s like to get hurt for disappointing someone they love and trust. They know that it’s possible for people they care about to hurt them if they do something wrong. Ultimately, they were raised to believe that no one should hurt them unless it’s someone they love.

    How does that lesson not make its way into the bedroom?

    If we want our kids to walk into their first sexual experiences with the confidence to say no if they want to say no, we should start by practicing what we preach in the decades before the moment happens. “No one is allowed to hit you, not even me. You are in charge of your body, all the time, even when you’ve done something wrong. There is nothing you can do that will make me hurt your body, because that’s now how we treat each other.”

    If you take spankings off the table, your child never gets taught that authority figures are allowed to hurt them if the conditions are right. Or that big people are authorized to apply their own internal logic of when it’s OK to hit and when it’s not OK to hurt their bodies.

    Speaking of authority figures …

    2

    Teach Your Kids That Authority Figures And Heroes Can Be Bad

    As of this writing, Larry Nassar, the doctor who used his position to sexually assault at least 120 young gymnasts, has been sentenced to 40-75 years in prison for his crimes. He won’t have the opportunity to serve those years until he finishes his 60-year sentence for the child porn charges that came before. I know. I hate him too.

    It’s important to note here that this Nassar monster doesn’t fit neatly in an article about consent, but I’m dragging his sorry name in here anyway because we’re talking about parenting, and every parent should know what this man did. Consent is something that happens between two adults who are trying to hash out how far they want to go together. Consent is not a thing when a child is involved, ever. I bring Nassar up because during his trial, his victims weren’t only pointing their fingers at him; they shed light on the dozens of moments when the system that was supposed to protect them protected him instead. We’re talking about a man who sexually abused little girls while their parents were in the room.

    And these weren’t regular parents like you and me. These were the kind of parents who would change jobs, move across the country, and invest thousands of dollars into making their children’s athletic dreams come true. They reworked their entire lives around their kids. They were like, super parents. But they couldn’t tell when a doctor was molesting their babies. Why? Because the very first rule they learned in their sexual education, and the first rule they taught their own kids, was that doctors are allowed to touch private parts.

    I bring up Nassar because I can imagine the thought processes of both the victims and the parents in the room when he was committing his crimes. At the heart of their misgivings about his actions was self-doubt, feeling that they were wrong for feeling uncomfortable. This man is a doctor. Self-doubt is also at the heart of every adult encounter in which one person isn’t sure of how far they want to go but they don’t know how to express themselves. For example, when a woman is on a date with a guy she’s liked for a long time and second-guesses herself when he wants to move too fast because he’s well-liked and kind.

    Self-doubt doesn’t emerge fully formed in someone’s head out of nowhere. It comes from the stories you tell yourself about yourself, and how much you trust your own feelings. Nassar lasted as a predator for multiple decades because most of us are freaking little kids when it comes to submitting to authority, and Nassar was a doctor, so he was an authority. He lasted because we will do mental gymnastics to avoid confrontation with people who hurt us, and we’d rather suffer than trust our own instincts.

    So give your kids some room to doubt authority figures every now and then. Let them explore the concept that grownups can be bad, because yeah, some of them are monsters. Let your kids practice saying “no,” like, all the time. You think I’m kidding, but it’s shockingly hard to say “no” as an adult, especially to someone you like.

    1

    Teach Your Kids To Read And Respect The People Around Them

    I can’t speak for every other woman out there, but the Aziz Ansari date night story hit me harder than the James Franco stories or accounts of Louis C.K. masturbating in front of female comedians, even though their actions were objectively more disgusting in every way. The Ansari account was painful because his date tied herself into knots as she tried to come up with ways to say “no” without hurting his feelings, but every clue she dropped was met with “yes, but,” as if their whole date was an improv game. A woman left his apartment in tears, and he thought they had a great night 24 hours later.

    Unfortunately, the story was the best illustration of a consent problem that I’ve ever seen. One person struggled to say no, and the other person didn’t read, see, or hear her struggle at all, or read it and didn’t care. While every other entry on the list is a way to help your kid not become a victim, this one is to help your kid not become a person who tries to have sex with someone who’s not into it. That’s a matter of empathy, and it can be taught.

    This starts with modeling empathy over and over and over again. Read your kids’ faces and bodies, and show them that they can read their friends’ faces as bodies as well. Literally say “Your face looks sad. Are you OK?” Or “Why did your friend go hide under the slide and start crying when you were playing? What happened?” Or “I can tell you’re mad at me because I ate all of the Goldfish while you were at school. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

    If the idea of acknowledging a child’s facial expressions and body language out loud over and over again is exhausting, that’s because it is. And that’s not including the times you’re calling them out for the wrong reasons. “Wipe that face off your face” is a favorite expression in my house, because everybody hates grumpy faces. But I can’t think of another way to teach kids how to check in with the emotional states of the people around them than to just … do that. Like, all the time.

    Despite what pop culture has taught us, we want boys (and girls) who want to read faces and body language and want to land on the same place as their partners. We want future adults to pride themselves on how attuned they are to the person in front of them, especially when we’re talking about sex. We want guys (and girls) who ask “Is this OK?” before they get handsy because that’s how much they respect the person they’re with, even if they just met.

    Parents, don’t wait for pop culture to catch up on teaching consent. It’s not going to happen any time soon. By the time the next generation of screenwriters figures out how to write sexy scenes that handle consent really well, your kids are already going to be grown.

    Feel free to check in on Kristi’s emotional state whenever you want over on Twitter.

    If you have children yourself and need some help with this, authors are writing children’s books geared towards teaching them these very things. Check them out!

    If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

    Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/what-were-still-not-teaching-kids-about-consent/

    You Will Be Smiling Like An Idiot After Seeing These 20+ Wholesome Pictures

    Not everything is terrible. Sometimes we let ourselves forget how beautiful the world is. It doesn’t mean that the issues we face every day are not important. Sometimes we just need… a little break. A reminder of what it all could be more like. What we could be more like.

    The pictures on this list will surely put a smile on your face, maybe make you cry a little. But happy tears only. Most importantly, we hope that they will inspire you to see more good in the world, and do more good.

    Check out the wholesome stories collected by Bored Panda down below and don’t forget to vote for your favourites!

    My boyfriend and i were at Walmart recently, and he recounted a story to me from his childhood. He grew up incredibly poor, his mother being a single mom raising two kids on her own, his father abandoning them when he was very young. He and his mom would “window shop†at stores, just to pass the time and look at stuff they knew they couldn’t buy. When he was…

    My boyfriend and i were at Walmart recently, and he recounted a story to me from his childhood. He grew up incredibly poor, his mother being a single mom raising two kids on her own, his father abandoning them when he was very young. He and his mom would “window shop†at stores, just to pass the time and look at stuff they knew they couldn’t buy. When he was little, when pokemon was really big, Walmart had a Charizard lunch box. He thought it was the coolest thing; Charizard was his favorite pokemon, and how often did you see things with just Charizard? The lunchbox wasn’t necessarily expensive, but with the threat of no power or running water, it might has well have been a billion dollars. His mom put the lunchbox on layaway and said he’d get it for his birthday, but my boyfriend knew that it wasn’t going to happen and it was definitely more of a gesture. It was so much more than a lunchbox. He felt if he had this lunchbox at school, he’d feel normal, he’d feel like everyone else. His birthday is in December, and after much eBay stalking I found the lunchbox he yearned for, 18 years ago. It was in amazing condition. This was the moment it really started to sink in. He cried for a LONG time. He finally got his lunchbox he could never have.

    So, some a**hole did this. But then this happened… People rallied around to clean up the graffiti. And to post supporting messages. Including our Canadian Forces members, who know that the Muslim population isn’t to blame for one insane a**hole. All clean.

    Tiffany Haddish Will Be The First Black Woman To Host MTV Movie Awards

    Tiffany Haddish is making history left and right. 

    The “Girls Trip” actress announced on Thursday that she will be hosting the 2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards in Los Angeles on Monday, June 18. Haddish, who made history last November by becoming the first black female stand-up comedian to host “Saturday Night Live,” is making history again as the first black woman to host the award show. The last female host was Amy Schumer in 2015. 

    Haddish announced the news in a video on Instagram. “It’s gonna be off the chain! Because you know why? I’m hosting!” Haddish says in the video. “And you know what that means ― it’s gonna be hilarious.”

    MTV released a statement shortly after Haddish’s announcement, writing that the actress, comedian and author is “quickly establishing herself as one of the most sought-after actresses and comedic talents in television and film.” 

    Haddish, who many believe should have been an Oscar contender, has been on fire as of late.

    After her hilarious acting in “Girls Trip,” she released a New York Times best-seller titled The Last Black Unicorn. She recently made waves as the face of Groupon, appearing in the brand’s 2018 Super Bowl ad. The actress is also starring in the upcoming TBS sitcom “The Last O.G.” alongside Tracy Morgan. 

    The categories and nominees for the award show will be announced at a later date. 

    The MTV Movie & TV Awards will air on Monday, June 18, at 9 p.m. EST. 

    Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tiffany-haddish-will-be-the-first-black-woman-to-host-mtv-movie-awards_us_5a901b24e4b0ee6416a26f23

    Walmart and Rakuten partner on grocery delivery in Japan, Kobo e-books and audiobooks in U.S.

    Walmart today announced a major expansion in terms of its global e-commerce presence: the retailer is entering a strategic partnership with Tokyo-based Rakuten, which will see the companies collaborating on the launch of a new online grocery service in Japan, and the sale of e-readers, audiobooks and e-books in the U.S., via Rakuten-owned Kobo.

    The strategic alliance is one that has two of the world’s largest e-commerce retailers joining forcing in an effort to combat Amazon, and is yet another example of how Walmart is using large-scale partnerships to aid in that battle. For example, Walmart last year teamed up with Google in order to have an entry point in the voice-assisted shopping space, by way of Google Home smart speakers – an area where Amazon’s Alexa has mopped up market share.

    In this new partnership, Walmart says it and Rakuten will co-create an online grocery service in Japan that will launch in the third quarter of 2018. The service will be operated by Rakuten and Seiyu GK, a Walmart subsidiary, and will be called “Rakuten Seiyu Netsuper.”

    Walmart, via Seiyu, has operated a grocery delivery business in Japan since 2000. This new co-branded service will replace that, the company says.

    Once live later this year, some customers’ orders will continue to be fulfilled by their local Seiyu store, as before. But depending on their geography, other customers’ orders may come from a new, dedicated fulfillment center operated by Walmart and Rakuten. The center, which is an existing building Walmart owns, will be exclusively used for online grocery.

    Walmart today also operates an online grocery business in the U.S., where customers can shop online and pay, then pull up to a designated parking spot for curbside pickup when their order is ready. The option to take delivery is available for an additional fee, but Walmart hands off that part of the operation to third-party partners, like Uber.

    However, in all other markets where Walmart operates online grocery – including Japan, the U.K., China, Canada, Mexico, Chile, Argentina, and India – the service is focused on home delivery. This will be the case with Rakuten Seiyu Netsuper, as well. Groceries will also continue to be delivered to homes using existing local delivery companies, Walmart tells us.

    Another difference between the U.S.-based pickup service and Japan’s delivery service is that Rakuten Seiyu Netsuper will offer pre-prepared meal kits, as well as partially prepared foods and other convenience-focused items like pre-cut vegetables, in addition to its selection of fresh produce and other consumables. Some items from Rakuten’s Ichiba marketplace – which has over 93 million registered members – will be available, too, including gourmet foods.

    Rakuten will additionally help craft the website for the new online grocery service, which will take advantage of its e-commerce technology, including big data and A.I., in order to personalize the merchandise offerings.

    “Rakuten is a strong e-commerce business and we’re excited to collaborate with the top
    online shopping destination in Japan,” said Walmart president and CEO Doug McMillon, in a statement. “Here in Japan and everywhere we operate, we’re constantly exploring new ways to make every day easier for customers by offering great experiences in stores, online, via mobile—no matter how customers want to shop.”

    The other significant initiative to emerge from this alliance is the addition of Kobo’s e-book and audiobook selection to Walmart’s website – a clear attempt to unseat Amazon Kindle’s dominance in e-readers and e-books, and Amazon-owned Audible’s dominance in audiobooks.

    Kobo will bring nearly 6 million audiobooks and e-book titles from hundreds of thousands of authors to Walmart, which will sell them on Walmart.com starting sometime later this year. (E-books will arrive first, followed by audiobooks.)

    Walmart will also sell digital book cards in stores, as well as Kobo’s e-readers.

    Kobo is the second-largest e-reader manufacturer worldwide, but never became a household name here in the U.S. However, the company has been fairly innovative with its hardware, offering premium versions and even a waterproof model years before Amazon did with Oasis. If anything could take on Kindle, it’s more likely to be a Walmart-backed Kobo rather than a Nook

    The companies haven’t yet decided which of Walmart’s stores will get which e-reader models, as the assortment details are still being worked out.

    The two companies will also release a co-branded Walmart/Kobo e-reading app for iOS and Android, as their alternative offering to Amazon’s Kindle app, as well as a desktop app. The new app will replace the existing Kobo app that’s live on app stores, but the companies couldn’t detail how the transition process will work for existing U.S. Kobo users.

    Similar to how Amazon lets consumers choose the format of the book they want to purchase while shopping, Walmart says Kobo’s product selection will also be “fully integrated” into its Walmart.com shopping site. That means when customers find the book they want to buy, they’ll be able to choose from the physical book, an e-book or an audiobook version from one place.

    Walmart says it will use the power of its physical retail presence to get this e-book offering off the ground, noting that its stores see over 140 million weekly customers who will be able to buy e-readers and digital book cards.

    Amazon, meanwhile, has been moving in the other direction – it already has the e-book empire others want to topple, so now its focus is on launching Amazon bookstores that put physical books in front of shoppers, too. But unlike Walmart, the Amazon Books retail stores are only open in select (generally urban) markets at this time. The bookstore chain is part of Amazon’s larger efforts to establish a brick-and-mortar footprint to rival Walmart’s, in fact – efforts that include its acquisition of grocer Whole Foods and its new, cashier-less Amazon Go stores.

    “Kobo has been very successful in working with market-leading book retailers around the world to provide a very competitive experience in the e-book space,” Rakuten Kobo CEO Michael Tamblyn told TechCrunch.

    “We’re very excited to come to the U.S. and bring e-books and audiobooks to Walmart, and take advantage of the scale that a market leader and a leading bookseller like Walmart can provide,” he added.

    Read more: https://techcrunch.com/2018/01/25/walmart-and-rakuten-partner-on-grocery-delivery-in-japan-kobo-e-books-and-audiobooks-in-u-s/